How to Lead Someone to Christ (Part 1 of 4)

Transcribed from Sermons by Bruce Peterson at Grace Chapel in Scottsbluff, NE. The video of this sermon can be found by clicking this link.

For a printable list of the primary verses to use when sharing the Gospel via this method, click on this link.

How do I end up going to Heaven when I die?

I’ve had the privilege—not bragging at all it’s just in a lot of ways a career choice—but I’ve had the privilege of leading hundreds and hundreds of people to Christ and I’ll tell you this right now, it is profoundly easy. It’s not quick, it’s usually a two and half hour or longer conversation because the Gospel is not something you just say it’s not a “repeat after me” prayer. No one is going to Heaven by just doing a repeat after me prayer.


When I was in Chicago at Sally’s and mine first apartment we had a landlord whose nephew went to a Christian college and he was on the football team. That football team would go to Europe during the summer and do scrimmages and show other colleges football and then they would bring that team or the other sports team onto the field and lead them into a repeat after me prayer and they would come back to the states and report on how many people got saved. And I asked if they understood English and they’d say, “Oh no they don’t understand English.” I’m like, “Wait a minute, you honestly think that repeating the words in a language you don’t know gets people saved?”

The Gospel is not a magic trick. It’s truth. There is a real problem and there’s a real solution and getting saved is recognizing the problem and choosing the solution. You choose it. To choose it you have to understand it.
— Bruce Peterson

That’s ridiculous on so many levels, God is not a magician, the Gospel is not a magic trick. It’s truth. There is a real problem and there’s a real solution and getting saved is recognizing the problem and choosing the solution. You choose it. To choose it you have to understand it. As you talk to anyone the goal is to have a conversation that they understand.

If you look at how the people in the Bible share the Gospel--If you look at Paul in the book of Romans: he is writing to a church he’s never been to and he says, “I am going to tell you the Gospel.” And he starts by saying, “The Gospel is the power of God to save,” and then he takes three chapters and proves everyone in the world guilty, he condemns everyone first.

You first have to see the problem before you want the solution. No one ever, in anything in life, goes for a solution unless they see the problem. The problem has to be heavy. So when you are explaining the Gospel to people, you have to spend a significant amount of time crushing them.


I tell you this, truly before the Gospel got a grip on my soul, I was making a terrible mess of my life. I was destroying people in my path. I was destroying my own soul, stealing everything I could, and smoking everything that could be smoked. It was bad. I was dying and I was taking the world with me. Then the Gospel took me from the grave to be a mouthpiece for God.

What the Gospel can do is profound. And we don’t have the right to look at people and go, “Oh they won’t like the Gospel. I can’t explain it to them, they won’t accept it, they won’t believe it, they won’t appreciate it, they don’t want to be free from their life. They love their life.” Not true, we are all looking for something deep and meaningful that gives purpose and joy and meaning and a destiny for our lives, something bigger than ourselves that we can get involved in. Everyone you know wants the Gospel. You just may not know how to teach it to them.

They want freedom. They want meaning and purpose. They want to wake up and know what life's about. They do, they want it, they want it bad. You want it bad, you all do.

This sermon series is about how we share the Gospel. It’s huge, it’s monumental. So, I hope you take this series to heart.

Alright, so we're gonna read Revelation and I'm going to explain to you why we need the Gospel.

Revelation 20:11-15 (NIV)

Then I saw a great white throne and him who was seated on it. The earth and the heavens fled from his presence, and there was no place for them. And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what they had done. Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire.

These verses take place at the end of the Millennium. At the end of time.

There are four ages of humanity, four ways God has “ringed” out of this Earth as many people as he can for salvation—so his kingdom is as big as possible.

  1. He first used his reputation, until his reputation could save no more.

  2. Then he shifted to Abraham, to using the Jewish Nation as his means of communicating who he is to the world. Through the Old Testament we see tons of people get saved—mostly Gentiles, by the way. The Jews seem to be a bit rebellious but the Gentiles seem to come right along.

  3. At the end of the Old Testament his Nation is done and he shifts to his People. That's us, the “Church Age”, some from every nation. He spread his Nation out into individual people, so now we are the people of God. He's using the church to save as many as he can through our age.

  4. Next, he will shift to his King—Jesus. And Jesus will reign on the earth, God himself, for as long as people are being saved. And that too will have a timeline, it will have an expiration date.

People will eventually choose against the Kingship of Jesus. You can't go higher than God ruling on Earth. So, then it's all over, and we have this scene from Revelation. This is when the time is up.43

Then I saw a great white throne and him who was seated on it. The earth and the heavens fled from his presence, and there was no place for them.

There’s no place for them because we're having a giant “start over”.

And I saw the dead, great and small,

Who's dead at this point? Everybody, everyone's dead. We’re all dead.

standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life.

This is a very important verse. The books were opened and another book was opened. We have a pile of plural books and a separate single book. Keep that picture in your mind: a pile of books, and a separate single Book of Life.

The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books.

Scary.

The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what they had done. Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire.

And here’s the giant problem: there are books that are being kept on every single thing you think, say, and do, and you will answer for every single thing.

There’s also a book of names, the Book of Life, and it only has names. Here’s the good news: you either have a pile of books or you have a name in the Book of Life, you don’t have both.
— Bruce Peterson

Okay, that's why we’ve got to talk about—the Gospel. This is the scene. Everyone stands before God someday, everyone, all the dead, no one escapes, every single person. And here's the giant problem: there are books that are being kept on every single thing you think, say, and do, and you will answer for every single thing.

There's also a book of names, the Book of Life, and it only has names. Here's the good news: you either have a pile of books or you have a name in the Book of Life, you don't have both.

The question is, how in the world do we get our name in the Book of Life and get our pile of books which have recorded everything we’ve done, wiped out?

This is what you need to explain to people. So, I'm going to teach you how to.


Revelations wraps everything up. Everyone stands before God. God has rung everyone out of the earth who can get into the Book of Life and now it's time to go into eternity.

We see in Revelations chapters 21 and 22 that Death is no more.

Those who have their name in The Book of Life enter into Heaven and Paradise. That's how the whole thing wraps up: We all get our day in court and that's going to be a terrible day, for all of us, including Believers. Because, the verse that says God wipes all tears from their eyes and there's no more sadness, is after the Great White Throne Judgment. It is not when you die and go to Heaven, that's not when your grief ends. Even God has said that on the day of judgment we will see people we love and did not talk to about the Gospel and they will be damned and we will not just be sad, we will be wrecked over our silence. That should wreck you; that should wreck you right now.

It is after that when God wipes away all our tears.


Okay, let's explain the Gospel. Fair warning, this sermon only ends on the negative, there's no good news today, because when you're explaining the Gospel to somebody you have to wreck them. I'm going to try to show you how I try to do that.

This is exactly how it sounds when I talk to people about the Gospel. It takes at least two and a half hours. I can't get it done in less than that and I typically record our conversation when I witness to people. Then when they get saved I can give them a recording of their own salvation and they love it. It's pretty meaningful and it's a good tool because then I also have those, and you could actually listen to me explain the Gospel to someone, but it sounds exactly like this sermon.

Usually when I’m talking to someone I personalize it, but this will be an overview.

So, you start with the problem.

If you think of Jesus’s life as the Gospel message, it starts with the Sermon on the Mount. Everyone is crushed in the Sermon on the Mount. And it ends with his death and resurrection. That's the sermon of Jesus.

If you think of Paul, you would start in Romans 1 where it wrecks everyone, and then go to chapter 3 verse 21 where it talks about righteousness as a gift from God. But he doesn’t start with that because everyone would be confused.

You have to take your time with people to explain it and you don’t have to do it all in one setting. And you don’t give the answer--that Jesus is the solution--until they ask.

If you spend long enough just crushing people, they will eventually say, “Okay, what’s the solution to this?”

When they ask, they are ready, but don't give them the answer before they ask or they won’t truly hear it. It won’t make sense. Don't give the answer first, start with the problem, they have to understand the problem before they will care about the answer.

Here's the problem: God says we need to be holy. Be holy.

Most people in the world are going to say, “Yeah, I'm pretty good.”

Most people you talk to are starting from a place where they think that they’re in the top half of humanity as far as goodness and that this is good enough. You have to wreck that mentality, because God wrecks it. He says we have to be holy.
— Bruce Peterson

That is their starting place. They're going to think one of two things: “Yeah, I’m probably going to Heaven when I die.” Or, “Well, I’m not bad enough to go to Hell. Not that bad. I don’t deserve Hell.”

Those are really the same thing. Most people you talk to are starting from a place where they think that they're in the top half of humanity as far as goodness and that this is good enough. You have to wreck that mentality, because God wrecks it. He says we have to be holy.

Hebrews 12: 14-15 (NIV)

“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

“Be holy, without holiness no one will see the Lord.” Holiness. That's the standard if you want to see God. What do you have to be? Holy.

Okay, that's rough.

1 Peter 1:14-16 (NIV)

“As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “‘Be holy, because I am holy.’”

Who is saying this? God. How holy should you be? Holy like God. There’s the problem.

Paul points out this problem plainly in Chapter 3 of Romans; this is his concluding thought at the end of his argument where he is crushing people:

Romans 3:9-20 (NIV)

What shall we conclude then? Do we have any advantage? Not at all! For we have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under the power of sin. As it is written:

“There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.”

“Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit.”

“The poison of vipers is on their lips.”

“Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.”

“Their feet are swift to shed blood; ruin and misery mark their ways, and the way of peace they do not know.”

“There is no fear of God before their eyes.”

Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be silenced and the whole world held accountable to God. Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin.

Here’s a summary of these verses: Paul says, “Here’s what I’ve just done, I’ve made a charge that the Jews and the Gentiles alike are all under the power of sin, as it is written.”

Now Paul’s just going to quote all over the Biblical text, “There’s no one who’s righteous. There’s not even one.”

So, the person sitting across from you is not righteous. They might think they are, so what are you going to do? You’re going to do some work, you’re going to walk them through their life to see if they are really righteous.

“There's no one righteous…there's no one who understands…”

What's your goal? To help them understand. What do they have to understand? That they're not righteous.

That's the start of the Gospel. Paul starts his argument by proclaiming that everyone falls short of God’s requirement. No one is holy. He does all of this before he gets to the good news. Don’t waste your time explaining Jesus until you have helped them understand that they have a problem which they can’t solve. It’s right there in the text.

Therefore no one

How many people? …no one

will be declared righteous.

Righteous means “good enough” in God’s sight by the works of the law. Which means by what you do. How many people are going to Heaven because of how good they are? Nobody.

Everyone you know who thinks they are good enough to go to Heaven, is not going. And at the Great White Throne Judgement you will see them and they will see you and that’s going to be a horrible “day”. And it’s not a “day” like 24-hours, it’s a very long time. Everyone gets their day in court.

…rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin.

Why did God give us the rules? So we would know we need a savior.
— Bruce Peterson

Why did God give us the rules? So we would know we need a savior.

What do we tend to do as humans? We look at the rules and we declare ourselves good enough. And doing this will destroy many many people whom we love. And that is somewhat on us, because it is our job to tell them the truth.

Hebrews 4:12-13 (NIV)

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

You are not getting away with anything. We are all sinners.

People don't like that phrase, that “we are all sinners”. What is sin? It's missing the bullseye; it's missing the mark. What is the bullseye? Holiness. And how many times have you hit the bullseye? Zero. How many times has anyone hit the bullseye? Zero. How many times do you have to hit the bullseye to be holy? Every single time. Every time, in every relationship, in every situation, in every thought and attitude. What is missing the mark? What is sin? Not having the same thoughts, words, and deeds that Jesus, himself, would have in every single situation.

We are all wrecked.

Now you’ve got to talk about it,. You’ve got to talk about it a little bit; you’ve got to make it real.


So, I almost always bring up stuff like this illustration—I have the privilege of doing counseling, so I get to say this to people:

People will say this, “Listen, I don't deserve to go to Hell because I'm not…” and they will list some of the sins that they think people should go to Hell for, “…I'm not Hitler. I'm not a murderer. I'm not a serial rapist. I'm not…” You know, whatever the list is that they'll have.

So, I say to them stuff like this:

You know what, I get to counsel people sometimes, and here's what I'll tell you from my experience: In a marriage where someone commits one of the big sins in marriage, infidelity—where someone cheats on the other one—I'll give you tons of examples of people who have committed adultery in their relationship and that relationship not only survives it, but it's better afterwards.

Now to be clear, it's not the infidelity that makes the marriage better. Infidelity is a huge problem. But, it's the work that gets done in the relationship to recover from the infidelity which can actually make that relationship a better relationship than it was to begin with. This is pretty regular.

But, with a marriage which is just about to break, when it's on its last—literally—its last leg, one person has just been talked into going to counseling and they don't even want to be there—when it's that desperate, it's usually not a big offense. It's little ones; it's a million little cuts. It's every single day of their whole relationship someone is ignored. The other person always, every day, throws them under the bus. When it comes to decisions, one of them never considers what the other might want. They don’t share their values; they don’t share their views. They never talk to them. They never appreciate them. They never love them. They always speak down to them. When they are having a conversation, they are always throwing the other one under the bus. They use their name as a byword and a curse word and a joke. They are nothing to them. They’ve never appreciated them a single day of their life. One person is just trashed every moment of the entire relationship.

Recovering that relationship…that is almost impossible.

The pattern is so deep, it's so deep, and the wounds are so deep. The distance between them is so vast. One of them has just never ever been appreciated by the other one. That marriage is rough.

And I only say that to you to say, listen, if perhaps only one time in your life you bowed down to an idol…God might even go, “Okay, one time you had one big miss…” And maybe he could move past that.

But, here's the facts according to Paul, according to God…let’s just look at your life…how often do you think about God?

No, seriously, how often do you think about him? How often do you consider God first before you make a decision in your life? He wrote you a letter, how much of it have you read? How often do you read it? How often do you pray? How often are you building your life on God?

He says, “No one seeks me.” How hard are you seeking Him? Seriously, tell me how much time per day do you seek Him? When was the last time you went to church? When's the last time you actually sacrificed a significant part of your life for the plan of God? When you considered your retirement, when you considered your job, when you considered your career choice, when you considered anything important in your life, how often did you first ask, is this what God wants for me? The truth is, you don't do it, ever.

Here's the truth, anytime you've decided to do something, if God would have stopped you in that moment and said, “Listen, I don't want you to do this.” You would instinctively and instantly say, “I don't care what you want, this is what I want, and this is what I'm going to do.” You do it every single day.

If He was literally following you around, there would be moments in the day where you are about to think or say something, and if he stopped you, just like he stopped Cain, and said to Cain, “Listen, don't do it. Sin is crouching at your door, it's going to get you.”

You would say, “I don't care; I'm going to look at the porn. I don't care; I'm going to watch that woman walk away and I'm going to imagine what her butt looks like naked. I'm going to imagine myself winning a billion dollars and I'm going to imagine myself naked on a beach somewhere drunk. I'm just gonna imagine myself with someone else every time I go home. I'm going to put a different face on my spouse every time. I'm just not gonna care. I don't care if I use bad language. I don't care what jokes you don’t want me to tell. I don't care what jokes you don’t want me to laugh at. I don't care.”

Everyone does this and we do it all day every day. Every day. Every day. Every day. Every single day, we throw God under the bus. We use his name as a curse word all the time. And then we want to say to God, “Oh, but I'm a pretty good person and you should love me unconditionally and just let me into your family and be happy I'm here.”

It's ridiculous! Absolutely, utterly, ridiculous! To have the audacity to call ourselves good, is to have the foolish thought that we are graded on a bell curve and we are all in an underperforming school where someone has to pass the class, so, no one does the homework, but someone has to pass. I think I'm going to get a B in this class. I'm not even gonna have to try. I just have to try a little harder than that guy.

I want to know. Seriously, you take a minute now and just try to convince me…you’re not convincing God right now, just go ahead and try to convince me that you're a good person and really should deserve to go to Heaven. I'd love to hear it.

Let me have your spouse in the room when you tell me these things, because I'd love to see their reaction to how you are good enough to go to Heaven.

Listen, God says there is an angel in Heaven watching your life who knows your attitudes and he's writing them down, every one of them. And you are going to be held accountable to them.

Isaiah 64:6 (NIV)

All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.

In the Bible “unclean” means unacceptable. How many of us are unacceptable? All of us, and all of our righteous acts are like menstrual rags to God.

Yep that's what it says, your cleaned up American version of the Bible will say “filthy rags” or something like that, but the Hebrews had to read what God said and He calls your “good” deeds menstrual rags.


This is how it goes in marriage counseling:

This person’s spouse is trying to explain to them how they feel totally totally ignored and this person over here says something like, “How can you feel that way? I took the garbage out just yesterday?”

And what does this other person feel about that? Is that good?

What we think of as good is just Baseline Behavior. It’s what is expected...That’s not being good, that’s your job.
— Bruce Peterson

See, here's the thing, this is why this is so important, because what we think of as good is just Baseline Behavior. It’s what is expected. That’s the shocking thing that you have to get across. That’s not being good, that’s your job. It’s your job to love them. That is your one job--to love. You can’t point to moments where you loved, even if it’s big, you can’t point to it as good. It’s the Baseline.

The expectation in marriage is to love each other more than your own life. That’s what you promised at the wedding. The other person is the most important. And you’re down here wanting credit for things that aren’t even reaching halfway to that expectation?

Here's what's happening, you take out the garbage and then you hold it over my head like, “Look what I did?” That's not good, that's actually bad! It’s filthy rags to them; that's not love!

And that's the game we play with God. It's the game I'm afraid you're playing with God. I think you think you're good and I'm telling you you're wrecked.


Right here's where I'll kind of shift and go into just numbers.

I'll say, “Listen, now that you've kind of got this idea of humanity’s lack of holiness, how many times a day do you think you don't hit the bullseye?”

Even if you have a thought about doing something bad, you are guilty of it. Or if you have the wrong attitude—attitudes are important too.

Now, I'll spend a little time on attitudes.

Picture a racist, picture Hitler in a room with all the people he loves. In that moment he's not actively being racist he loves everyone in that room. Does he, in that moment, cease to be a racist? No. Is he less guilty at that moment than at any other moment? No, he's not off the hook.

Here's why that's important, because we are all greedy. I don't care if that, at this moment, you're putting something into the offering plate. I don't care if you just gave the homeless guy at Walmart 20 bucks. That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is you're never ever any single moment of your life off the hook for being greedy. After all, you only gave him 20 bucks.


Then I'll go to what Jesus said when he was asked what's the most important Commandment (Matthew 22:36-40).

He said it was to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind. To love God with everything you are, with all of your passions--your heart--and your soul, and your thoughts. So, with your passions, your attitudes, and every thought, love God.

Then he said the second one is very much like the first one. It's to love your neighbor as yourself.

Then, of course, Jesus’ audience asked Him, “Well, who’s my neighbor?”

Jesus answered with a story (The Good Samaritan—Luke 10:25-37) and the point of that story is that everyone is your neighbor, including your enemies. As you get a handle on loving God with everything you are, then you are supposed to love everyone else with everything you are.

I'd love to hear the story of the day that proves you love God more than anything else in this world and I would love one example, just one example, one in your whole life, one single example where you have truly loved your enemy as much as you love yourself. Because I tell you this, when I tell you my kid has cancer you will not pray for him nearly as much as you'll pray for your own kid, and you love me, but you don't even love me as much as you love yourself. And I'll tell you this, if your spouse gets cancer you won't even pray for them as much as you'll pray for yourself when you get cancer, because you suck at loving.

If I'm wrong I'm all ears. Tell me how good you are, convince me, tell me. But, I'm not the audience, I'm going to be in the audience, but you're going to explain it to God in front of everyone, including the people that you claim to love, and they'll be called as Witnesses. It seems to me that you are in for a world of hurt.


And let me explain the consequences to you:

Revelation 20:11-15 (NIV)

Then I saw a great white throne and him who was seated on it. The earth and the heavens fled from his presence, and there was no place for them. And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what they had done. Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire.

David Howard Hitchcock's oil painting 'Halemaumau, Lake of Fire', 1888

You have an angel who is gauging every attitude and thought you have and you're going to stand before God and the consequences are terrible. Anyone whose name is not found written in the Book of Life is thrown into the Lake of Fire.

If you get your name in The Book of Life, none of this is in your future.
— Bruce Peterson

I don't want that for you. I love you. I want you to know that right in this passage where God puts this warning He holds out an amazing possibility for you, even now. He gives you the chance to get your name in the Book of Life, because if you get your name in The Book of Life, none of this is in your future.

What will the person you're evangelizing to do at this moment? If you've taken your time and done it well, they will go, “How do I do that?”

Now they are ready for the good news.


Take your time with this first part, their eternity is at stake.

If you aren't saved, your eternity is at stake. I hope you felt wrecked today.

Take your time; this was a half hour, but I take way longer to explain the Gospel to people in real life.

I make it personal. I make it hurt. Sometimes there's tears. Just go slowly. You're not in a hurry. The only thing that cuts it off is their death. Take your time, make them want the solution. Until you sense that asking for the solution is on their lips, stay on this subject.



This series of blog posts titled, “Holding on to Reason”, is named after Amanda’s favorite C.S. Lewis quote: “Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods.”

Click here for more things written or transcribed by Amanda Hovseth.

What’s New in the Cross Reference Library?

The Woman from Lydia - Widowed Euodia, known to her neighbors as “the Lydian woman,” seeks to make a fresh start by moving to the foreign city of Philippi. She finds new purpose after meeting Paulos, apostle to the Gentiles, who opens her eyes to helping those in need, particularly women and those who have been enslaved. Retired Roman soldier Hector has settled in Philippi with dreams of a future filled with wealth and status, pooling his army earnings with Lucious, his fellow comrade-in-arms turned business partner. His hopes are dashed, however, when Paulos robs their youngest enslaved girl of her lucrative ability to foretell the future, rendering her worthless to Hector’s ambition. Determined to find someone to restore the girl’s valuable “gift,” Hector is willing to travel to the ends of the earth to do so. Following close behind him, Euodia and her servants embark on a journey to rescue Sabina and set her free forever. 

Seeing as Jesus Sees - “Jesus, how do You see this?” Discover a new, simple prayer, brief enough to change your whole life. It’s a request the Savior loves to grant because when you see yourself, others, and the world through His eyes, you’ll

  • Discover the wonder and beauty you’ve been missing

  • Clear away misunderstandings and defeat the lies that hold you back

  • Take the limits off your life

  • Rekindle genuine compassion for others

  • Find hope again for the world

If you’re looking for a Spirit-filled life of freedom and joy, you don’t need to do more—you just need to see more. Let pastor Alan Wright lead you through the Scriptures to the Savior’s side to see everything from His perspective. You’re going to love the view.

What’s New in the Cross Reference Library?

Quenched - If you are a woman who has struggled with lust and pornography, there is hope. Though you may feel trapped in a destructive cycle that is keeping you distant from God, you are not alone. Jessica Harris has been there, and she has made it her mission to break the silence, banish the shame, and bring the struggle into the light. In this authentic and honest book, she shows you a road map for restoration that answers the question “Is there grace left for me?” with a resounding and emphatic “Yes!” It’s time to break down the wall of shame between yourself and your God in order to drink from the well of grace, forgiveness, and freedom God has for you. 

Rooted in Wonder - For a generation whose eyes are constantly trained on screens, encountering nature at all is increasingly difficult—much less seeing what it reveals about God. How can parents help children re engage with the natural world that is so full of amazement, creativity, and love? Eryn Lynum is a certified master naturalist, Bible teacher, and mom of four who wants to help families encounter and understand the connection between God and creation. She shares her own story of surrounding her kids with nature, and invites other parents to embark on a similar journey. With practical sections that look at flora and fauna, water and sky through the lens of the Bible and activities to integrate faith and the natural world, Rooted in Wonder equips parents to cultivate an unshakable faith within their kids. Through the art of play, the drive of discovery, and the awe of adventure, children will gain a sense of wonder in their Creator that will last a lifetime. 

Everything You Need - Are you searching for greater confidence, purpose, and peace in your life? Are the distractions and pressures of this world weighing you down? If you’re overwhelmed, there’s help at your fingertips—help that will give you everything you need to walk life’s journey with resilience and strength. In Everything You Need, author and beloved Bible teacher Dr. David Jeremiah uses 2 Peter 1:3-11 to show you the path to spiritual and personal transformation. Dr. Jeremiah also highlights the extraordinary resources God has already provided for your growth: His divine power and precious promises. Filled with inspiring stories and practical truth, each chapter shows you how to take these divine gifts and develop eight remarkable character qualities that will strengthen you to soar above your circumstances and enable you to make the most of every opportunity that comes your way.

If I'm Not A Missionary how do I Contribute To The Great Commission?

You can listen to Ask The Pastor every weekday at 9:00am MST on 97.1FM Hope Radio KCMI! You can also listen and subscribe to Ask The Pastor in your favorite podcast feed. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Amazon Music and most other podcast services.

This edition of Ask the Pastor features Pastors Johnathan Hernandez and Gary Schick.

Gary Schick
Well, this one actually, somebody asked you, right? So I'm going to read it and then I'll let you see what you think about this. This is a great question. Jonathan writes, "I had someone ask me the other day, 'if I can't go overseas to be a missionary, what part, if any, do I have in missions or the great commission?" So Jonathan, what was your response?

Jonathan Hernandez
Yeah well, I mean, I guess first off, I just want to say thank you to all of our U.S. missionaries, and all of our worldly missionaries that just go out and are obedient to Christ's calling. And so just thank you to all of our missionaries. So when I talked to this person, I was telling her, "if you truly have a heart and you feel like God is calling you to missions, then you definitely need to follow up with that. If it's missions work, then what can you do to get to that?" Obviously, you need to start going through ministry classes and things like that in order to step into that field. But if you feel like you're not called to mission's work, in that sense of being a career missionary, there's many things God has called us to; to the Great Commission. I mean, I guess we can back that up just a minute. Make sure we've supported our missionaries. We can do that financially, but we can also do that definitely through prayer, making sure that we're praying for our missionaries on a daily basis. But if we jump into scripture, we see the great commission being given to us. We see that in Matthew. We also see that in the Book of Mark, and so I'll read those both real quick. So Mark 16:15 says, "and then he said to them, go into all the world, preach the good news to everyone. Anyone who believes and is baptized will be saved, but anyone who refuses to believe will be condemned. And then these miraculous signs will accompany those who believe. They'll cast out demons in my name. They'll speak in new tongues or new languages. They will be able to handle snakes with safety and they'll be able to drink anything poisonous and it won't hurt them and they will be able to place their hands on the sick and they will be healed." And so this is that commissioning, that we should go into all the world and preach the good news, right? To all creation. And then Matthew 28, it's a lot of the same thing. And it says, "Jesus told his disciples, 'I've been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations. Baptize them in the name of the Father, of the Son, and the Holy Spirit; teaching these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure that of this, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." And I guess I was getting a little tongue tied, because I'm used to reading it out of the New King James version. So we see these two scriptures that really have that command to go into all the world. And it doesn't say, just the pastors go into all the world, just the missionaries go into all the world. But it's telling us, as believers, that we need to go and preach the good news. My friend who's a missionary, a US missionary here in the United States, he goes, "I always say, 'to Jesus there was no local or foreign missions field. There was just the lost who needed a savior?" And man, that hits so good. People need to know who Christ is. It's the only hope, right? That's our hope. And how can we, and it doesn't matter, like I said, it doesn't matter if we're a pastor or a missionary or someone that's in the church. It's a commission for all of us to go preach the good news. But I think there's a piece that we miss a lot of times. You know, I think we've become really good at making converts or helping people come to Christ. But we don't follow that up, because in Matthew 28, it tells us to teach the new disciples everything that God has given us or has shown us. And so I think the important aspect of discipleship is something that we need to make sure that is strong within our local body. How are we discipling that next person? If we're wanting to see that next person reached and saved for Christ, we also need to back that up with discipleship and help them process through. Because man, I remember when I came to Christ, I had a lot of questions, and I think a lot of people do. We have all these questions and it's so new. But to have someone that mentors us through those questions and helps, that discipleship process is amazing. And so that'd be my encouragement, is that not only are we reaching the lost, but we're discipling them. And man, it's an amazing role that we get as believers to help that next person learn about Christ and grow in Christ. And so for me, I think that's it. If our role in the Great Commission is just that, is to make sure that we're seeing it and obeying it and reaching the lost and then discipling lost, and then we get the opportunity to baptize them. Those are all amazing things, that we get to just be a part of someone's life and watching them just grow in Christ, is an amazing thing. At least it has been for me, is just to watch people grow in their relationship with Christ and then watch them get excited and say, "you know what? I was able to lead my dad--or my brother or my friend or my coworker--to Christ and just see just how excited they are. It's an amazing thing. And I hope that each of us look at this great commission and say, you know what? This is a commission for me to step into.

Gary Schick
And I think you're right. It is a commission to the whole world. Mark, "preach the gospel to all creation," Matthew, "therefore go make disciples of all nations." But where does that begin? It begins where we are. The passage you didn't touch on, that I also love is Acts 1, which really is kind of the table of contents for the book of Acts, but also it's God's game plan. Jesus says there, he says, "but you'll receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you, and you'll be my witnesses in Jerusalem and all Judea and Samaria and to the ends of the earth." So, a couple of things there: 1. Where does the power and the wisdom and the words come from? It's not you or me, it's the Holy Spirit. We are just faithful with what we have to bear witness to the truth, Christ, and let the spirit take it from there. And then 2. where do we begin? You say, "well, Jerusalem, that's a long way away." Well, it wasn't when Jesus was talking to them. They were in Jerusalem, basically. He was saying, "start here and then branching out from there to Judea." Well, Jerusalem was in Judea, so he's saying, "look, start here in the city, proclaim the gospel, take it from there." And that's in the book of Acts. This is the progression we see. The gospel starts being proclaimed on Pentecost with the whole power of the Spirit in Jerusalem. And then we see the disciples branching out beyond the city into Judea, and then Samaria, which was right next door, sort of the next stop along the road to Galilee, which was where most of Jesus' ministry had been; and then to the ends of the earth. And that's exactly how it happens in Acts. First you see it in Jerusalem. The gospel proclaimed, and then it branches out into Judea, and then the disciples are kind of persecuted and they kind of spill out beyond that. And so the gospel goes from there into Samaria. And then finally, with both Peter and Paul, and then really primarily Paul, for the rest of the Book of Acts; taking the gospel even further and further out in the first missionary journeys. But you hear that people say, "well, boy, I'm not a missionary, so therefore, what's my place?" Your place is to start where you are. I mean, all these places that are far away aren't far away to the people that live there. Jerusalem is a long way to us, but it's home to the people who live there. And it was home to the first Christians, actually, where we are here in the United States, think about where the gospel started. To Jerusalem, we're almost as far away as you can get. I mean, we are literally on the other side of the world. So we are the farthest foreign mission field from where the gospel began. And so what does God ask us to do? He asks us to be faithful, to rely on the Spirit, to proclaim the good news, invite people to church. Invite people to Christ. Tell your story of how you came to Christ. A couple of resources. Maybe you're not part of the Gideons, but the Gideons even have Bibles that they will allow people to hand out that aren't marked official. Gideon Bibles, something I've always been impressed by, the P.T.L. (the Pocket Testament League). They give out the gospel of John with some, just beautiful covers. And I mean, I've handed those out with my tip at a restaurant or wherever. I mean, our church has handed out a bunch of those. So you can physically give people a gospel. You could share what Jesus has done in your life, be in prayer for those around you who don't know Christ. But really we are, I had a missionary talk about something that sticks in your head. Many years ago, he came to our church to share, and he had a great little song. I'm not going to sing it, but I bet I can remember every word of it. It went like this: "Be a missionary every day. Tell the world that Jesus is the way. In the city or the country or the busy avenue. Africa or Asia, the choice is up to you. So be a missionary, be a missionary. Be a missionary every day." So, I've been to Africa. Many years ago, when I was a seminary student, spent eight weeks in Kenya. I've been to, I guess Asia in a sense. Well, I don't know, it's the Middle East. I've been to Jerusalem, so is that the Middle East? I don't know if that's Asia. Maybe I still need to go to Asia. I'd love to go to Asia. I'd love to go to the farthest corners of the world. I'd love to see new places and to meet people. But I'll tell you what, when I'm there, here's what I always discover. People are people wherever you go. Some know Jesus. Some have never heard of him. Some are just somewhere along the road. We are right here in the USA, the mission field today. Actually, you pointed out, you mentioned somebody who was a missionary within the United States. There are countries that we have sent missionaries to, that are sending them back to us, sending missionaries here. Now, and actually, I'm just going to close with this. There was many years ago, I read a book by somebody named Al Lung called The World At Your Doorstep, talking about how God is bringing the world to us. I mean, if you go to our local college right here, our local community college, there are people from every country. They come here to study for a couple of years, they need to be befriended. I mean, they're people and they represent an opportunity. You want to go to Africa or South America or wherever? You can't get there? That's okay. Just go share Jesus with somebody who's from there, who's in our community right now, and you have an opportunity when they go home. Then they can take that gospel with them. The world is at our doorstep and what are we doing? And this is a challenge to me. What am I doing to leverage that opportunity for Christ and His kingdom? Because the day is coming, Jesus will be returning, and we want to be found faithful when he comes.

Jonathan Hernandez
Yeah, you kind of hit what I was going to say too. Is just, you never know what that ripple effect will be. Never know even when you lead, get the opportunity to plant that seed or water that seed, or even see them fully submit to Christ. We don't know what that will look like. They may be the next Billy Graham or something along those lines. And so, just be obedient when you feel like God is tugging, the Holy Spirit's tugging on your heart to speak to someone. It can be scary. But when we learn how to be obedient to those tugs, amazing things can happen. So amen.

Gary Schick
I just want to finish with what you mentioned there at the beginning. We are called to be witnesses. They bear witness to what they know. They stand up in the court and they share, "this is what I saw. This is what I heard. This is what I experienced." It's not their job to convince the jury. Let the facts do that, or in our case, let the Holy Spirit do that. We don't have to be the world leading expert on how to convince people of anything. We just bear witness to the truth that has been made known to us, and let God take it from there. I think we make this too hard for ourselves. We make it like, "I need to___," no, you don't need to do anything other than just be faithful and share what you have. And if somebody's hungry for it, they'll take some.

Jonathan Hernandez
Yeah. We're not the one that saves them.

Gary Schick
No, no. And until they're hungry for it, they're not going to want it. But it's God's work to create that hunger in a heart. But then you might be that connect point. You might see them come to the Lord, or you might just be the first itching in that direction, or you may be somewhere in the middle. Just play your role and let God bring the fruit when it comes. We wanted all of it to happen now. Where we share it and they hear it and they receive it and done. That's not the way crops are produced. You plant a seed, it takes time, harvest comes. You and I are just workers in the field. Maybe we're there for the harvest, maybe we're there for the planning, maybe we're there in the middle. But it's God's planning, God's harvest, God's work along the way, and we just need to be faithful while we're there.

What’s New at the Cross Reference Library? "What God Wants You to Know About Him"

I Used to Be______- When you suffer a loss, you enter the realm of "used to be." You used to be married. You used to be employed. You used to be pregnant, secure, healthy, sober, thin. You used to be a son or daughter, a brother or sister, a mother or father. And in that used-to-be space there is deep emptiness, loneliness, and sorrow. It's a place we all dwell for a while. But it's not a place in which we are meant to remain. The path forward includes exploring the unseen elements of grief. With this book, pastor Chuck Elliott and counselor Ashley Elliott light the way to a better future. Sharing biblical advice and proven mental health techniques, they help you learn how to fully feel and face your grief, hold onto your faith, and develop healthy ways to see yourself, your life, and your loved ones. They offer coping strategies for when moving forward seems impossible and guide you toward building new thinking patterns that will result in true healing and growth. If you “used to be” something, it’s not the end of the road. It’s up to you to decide what you “will be” in the future. 

Quiet Conversations - When was the last time you enjoyed a quiet conversation with God? Is that a daunting idea in this noisy, fast-paced world? For some, faith is intriguing and it invites curiosity. Yet so much about God remains a mystery. How does one unravel it all to make sense in a personal way? In her new book, Quiet Conversations, Kim Harvey Brannan wants to guide you toward understanding the unique ways God expresses Himself in our lives. She presents the essentials about God and the ways He chooses to interact with us. Kim believes that Our Creator longs to draw close to us, and that connecting with Him at a deeper level is the key to living a meaningful life of intention. The ideas and concepts she develops in Quiet Conversations are shared with refreshing candor and raw emotion. Her life experiences back up the validity of each aspect of God’s nature. This debut book is a breath of fresh air, offering hope and personal peace amid life’s challenges, disappointments and hardships.

Relationship Green Flags

Who you choose to marry, to face life with, is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. (The only thing which is definitely more important is choosing to accept Jesus’ payment on the cross for your sins—click this link for more info.)

June 20th, 2023 was the anniversary of my first date with my husband. Which means, as of June 20th, 2023, I had known my husband for one year.

It blows my mind thinking that he has only been in my life for a little over a year. He came along and turned out to be even more than I dared to hope for. I hadn’t even realized how low my bar had gotten until I met Dakota, and he showed me everything I’d been missing.

For example, there are times I thank Dakota for different things he does for me and his response is, “Amanda, that’s just the baseline of how people should treat each other.” And, I’m like, “I know, but the guys I’ve dated before have never done that, so I’m grateful for you.”

So, in honor of a year with a man who treats me better than I ever dreamed, here is a list of relationship green flags (in no particular order) for all of you still out there searching.

It’s important to note that we are all human and, chances are, no one is going to have mastered all of these green flags; however, the more green flags the better. And the key is to be with someone who desires to constantly work on improving themselves with you and who has these green flags as a goal.

They take responsibility for themselves.

Bottlecap Guru (Etsy)

Which means they recognize that there are things in life we can’t control, but we can control our own reactions and actions and we only have ourselves to blame if we choose poorly.

“I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

No matter the cards life has dealt them, they work through their trials and struggles and keep trying to better themselves.

They don’t dwell in their misfortune and misery. A person who constantly acts like the world owes them, will never be able to build a life with you because they aren’t interested in building their own. They are only interested in taking from others. They will eventually even turn that “you owe me” attitude on you, and nothing you do will ever be enough.

“You are the only human in charge of your destiny. Unfair things may happen to you, unfortunate times may come to you, but you always get to choose how you respond. You can live in frustration and bitterness, or you can be the bigger person and just play the heck out of the cards you are dealt. The truth is that not a single person can choose the cards they receive, but everyone chooses how they play their cards.” -Nikki Banas

They support your personal growth.

Some people hate to see others grow because they are afraid they will be left behind.

“For so long I wanted you to hold me…until I realized how small you needed me to be to fit within your grasp.” -wild spirit, soft heart / butterflies rising

In a strong relationship, both parties should be working on growing and helping each other grow. Don’t hitch your life to someone who will selfishly hold you back instead of supporting you as you move forward.

“A great spouse loves you exactly as you are. An extraordinary spouse helps you grow; inspires you to be, do, and give your very best.” -Fawn Weaver

They are self-reflective.

They pay attention to their emotions and actions and if they ever behave in a negative way, they do the work of looking inward to discover why they acted that way and what they can do to prevent it from happening again.

“It takes a lot of courage, humility, and self-awareness to look at ourselves closely and with honesty.” -Todd Davis

They are honest about their mistakes.

And with that honesty comes a sincere apology. They face the damage they’ve caused head on in order to work on fixing it.

“It is one thing to make a mistake, and quite another thing not to admit it. People will forgive mistakes, because mistakes are usually of the mind, mistakes of judgement. But people will not easily forgive the mistakes of the heart, the ill intention, the bad motives, the prideful justifying cover-up of the first mistake.” -Stephen Covey

They have long-standing friendships.

If a person can’t even manage to have a healthy friendship, there is no way they can manage a healthy relationship with a significant other. Good long-standing friendships show that they know how to manage the “the gives and takes” of a relationship and how to put others before themselves. Also, one person can’t be everything to another person, a significant other should be the priority, but no one can hold up the weight of being another person’s “everything”.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” -Proverbs 27:17 (NIV)

@Julia Swartz

If they have strong relationships with friends and family, it also proves that they know the value of good relationships and then there is a better chance of them valuing their relationships with you and your potential future kids as well.



“Everything of value that we will know in this life comes from our relationships with those around us. Because there is nothing material that measures against the intangibles of love and friendship.” -R.A. Salvatore

Likewise, they encourage your connections with loving friends and family.

The more people you have loving you and looking out for you in life, the better. A significant other who truly loves you will want you to have a large and strong support system. If a significant other is trying to put a wedge between you and the people who have already proven their love for you throughout your life, that is a HUGE red flag! It indicates an abusive personality who wants you to have no one left to run to for help once they start the abuse.

“Love doesn’t isolate! If you have to cut off good friends and family to please your partner, you’re not in a relationship. That’s slavery. A person only isolates you so they can control you.” -Tony Gaskins

Their words and behavior align.

Love is a verb—which means it’s an action word, so it requires actions to truly exist. If they say they love you but their actions make you feel unloved, then they aren’t actually loving you.

I’ve had multiple guys talk about a future with me but—at best—they were dreaming and deceiving themselves about what they were capable of; and—at worst—they were only trying to keep me around longer by promising what they knew I wanted even though they did not intend to follow through. And I believed each one of them for far too long before I realized none of them were actually putting in the work to build that future, until Dakota.

For example: one thing Dakota did when we were dating which let me know he was serious about building a future with me was look up lists of questions you should ask your significant other before marriage and he went through all of the questions with me. He also made sure I met as many of the important people in his life as I could as soon as possible and vice versa.

“Great marriages are made when husbands and wives make a lot every day choices that say, ‘I love you’, rather than choices that say, ‘I love me’.” -Matthew L. Jacobson

They can engage in a disagreement without becoming cruel.

No one is ever going to agree with another person 100% of the time. You need to be able to discuss your disagreements civilly and lovingly. It’s important to be with someone who knows it’s not okay to be cruel in order to win a disagreement. The goal should be to talk things out and come to a mutual understanding.

“A healthy adult relationship is one where both people in the relationship give and both receive. There is a safe and open exchange of ideas, feelings, and thoughts and all perspectives are considered and valued. There is also the freedom to respectfully challenge, confront, and strengthen one another.” -Leslie Vernick

Even if you don’t come to the same conclusion in the end, each person needs to feel heard and understood. In healthy relationships, people can disagree and still be respectful. They can also find ways to compromise when choices and actions need to be decided upon even if they can never completely agree with or understand the other person’s viewpoint.

“Maturity in a relationship is seeing conflict as a way to develop deeper mutual understanding. It is not about winning or being correct, but about taking turns to listen selflessly and calmly speaking your truth to each other. Harmony grows when you meet each other in the middle.” -Yung Pueblo

They have their own healthy hobbies.

Of course couples should do a lot of stuff together; however, they shouldn’t need to do everything together. Each person should be well rounded enough to have their own things going on sometimes and be allowed to do their own thing.

“There’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. Life is short. Invest in meaningful activities that move you.” -Marc and Angel Chernoff

They help you with your emotions.

Emotions can be wrong. Emotions aren’t always justified and can be misleading because they tend to come from our most selfish places. However, they are still real and ignoring or dismissing them doesn’t help. Repressed emotions can resurface later into actual physical ailments or can build up until you explode. In a healthy, loving relationship, you will be able to discuss your emotions—whether or not they are justified—without fighting about them, and work through them together.

This doesn’t mean that you both act like your emotions are always correct, it means you explore them together, without assumptions, and discover what they are trying to tell you. Even if they are illogical they are usually signaling you towards a wound which needs to be healed. So, you need to work together to figure out why you are feeling that way, be it injustice, selfishness, past trauma, an unforeseen trigger, etc. and then you can find ways to handle it healthily and heal the wounds which exist or the potentially false mindset you’re carrying which led to them.

A loving partner should be a safe space to talk about your feelings with, whether or not the feelings are logical and justified. But, you, also as a loving partner, need to be willing to be honest about the origin of the emotions and, potentially, your own infallibility, so that you can both come out better on the other side.

“When you shut down emotion, you’re also affecting your immune system. So the repression of emotion, which is a survival strategy, then becomes a source of physiological illness later on.” -Gabor Mate

They share compatible goals for your relationship.

Unfortunately, you might find someone who is perfect in every way, but they don’t want to have kids, while you do want to have kids. If you both want to build different types of futures, through no fault of either of you, you can’t build your future together.

Chemistry refers to the emotional connection you feel with another individual. Your chemistry is what creates the magnetic pull towards someone, what attracts you to their being and the foundation for sexual attraction. Compatibility on the other hand is related to lifestyle, goals, and values and overall vision. If you have chemistry without compatibility, this creates a short term intimate relationship. If you have compatibility without much chemistry, this creates a dry, passionless relationship. Both are needed for the relationship to feel filled with passion, life, purpose, and sustenance.”

They understand that healthy relationships require continuous work.

All relationships take work. They require a willingness to grow and adapt with your partner. You are not the same person you were a year ago and neither are they; nor will either of you be exactly the same a year from now. You have to stay checked-in with each other—spend quality time with each other, talk about your day and thoughts together—in order to grow and change together instead of drifting apart.

“Men are so worried that marriage will leave them with ‘only one woman’ for the rest of their lives. That’s simply not true. I fell in love with a 19-year-old rock climber, married a 20-year-old animal lover, started a family with a 24-year-old mother, then built a farm with a 25-year-old homemaker, and today I’m married to a 27-year-old woman of wisdom. If your mind is healthy, you’ll never get tired of ‘one woman’. You’ll actually become overwhelmed with how many beautiful versions of her you get to marry over the years. Don’t say no to marriage, say yes and keep saying yes until the day you die.” -Dale Partridge

Also, there is no such thing as, “I told you I loved you on our wedding day and that’s enough.” No, that’s neglect and indicates an unhealthy detachment from your emotions. There is nothing wrong with reassuring your partner of your love, and in fact, it is ideal—dare I say, required. A strong relationship is one in which both people and constantly reminded that they are loved. Feeling securely loved allows you to grow and flourish in all aspects of your life.

“Marriage is not the end of the search for love. It’s the end of the search for the person to love. The search for ways to love that person has just begun.” -Hank Sinatra

They share your form of spirituality.

A person’s religious beliefs impact pretty much every decision they make, even the small ones, but especially the major ones. If you don’t share your core belief system, you don’t really share the same view of the world. You might be able to coast by through the small choices, but when life gets hard, like it does for everyone, you will both fall back on your core beliefs for guidance and if they are incompatible belief systems, you will fall apart.

On the flip side, if you share your core belief system, it will make your choices easier. Decisions like how to raise your children, which places you should donate money to, and which holidays to celebrate, will be way easier.

When people fall in love with someone’s flowers, but not their roots, they don’t know what to do when Autumn comes. Your relationship needs to be built on a deep alignment of values, character, and morals (the roots) not just ‘love’, appearance, hobbies, and status (the flowers).” -suetsai & doctor_bolu / Twitter


These are just a few of many green flags which indicate the potential for a strong, healthy, long-lasting relationship. If you find a person who flies these flags and they want to build a future with you, you are blessed.

Likewise, we should all be working at becoming the type of person who flies these flags as well. The number one way to attract the type of person you want, is to work at becoming the type of person they deserve.

If you inherently long for something, become it first. If you want gardens, become the gardener. If you want love, embody love. If you want mental stimulation, change the conversation. If you want peace, exude calmness. If you want to fill your world with artists, begin to paint. If you want to be valued, respect your own time. If you want to live ecstatically, find the ecstacy within yourself. This is how to draw it in, day by day, inch by inch.


This series of blog posts titled, “Holding on to Reason”, is named after Amanda’s favorite C.S. Lewis quote: “Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods.”

Click here for more things written by Amanda Hovseth.

What Are Your Thoughts On Fasting?

You can listen to Ask The Pastor every weekday at 9:00am MST on 97.1FM Hope Radio KCMI! You can also listen and subscribe to Ask The Pastor in your favorite podcast feed. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Amazon Music and most other podcast services.

This edition of Ask the Pastor features Pastor Johnathan Hernandez.

Jonathan Hernandez
This morning I have received a question, and the question was this: It says, "what are your thoughts on fasting? Does it have to be strictly food or can other things be considered fasting, like the electronics or social media?" So yeah, as we dig into this, what are my thoughts on fasting and what do we see in scripture? And so, if we look at the word, "fasting," if we look at it, the original word, we see it through the Hebrew and then also through the Greek. The word itself means: to abstain from food. So if we think of fasting and we we look at it, "well then, it means to abstain from food." The Greek is, like, "abstained from food or drink," and so would we say, "does it have to be food?" If we look at this, that's kind of what it's showing. I know as a church, this has continued to go on, we've seen where we've fasted electronics, or you have a 40 day fast and we're going to give up "this" for different things. You'll see some churches that give things up for Lent. You have these different seasons, like those things, that were to happen. My thoughts are, if you're giving up something and you're saying, "this is fasting," then the purpose of that would be for you to give something up. And as you're giving that up, you're spending more time in the word, in prayer, and building that relationship with Jesus Christ. That's what fasting, that's what the whole purpose of it is. Is to grow closer to God. And so, if I'm just fasting and if I'm just giving something up, but I'm not turning to God and spending that time with Him; then if I'm giving up food, but I'm not replacing that with the word, well, then all I'm doing is going on a diet. I'm not actually trying to get closer to God. I'm just, like I said, just basically going on a diet. So we need to make sure that if we're fasting, that we're giving something up, but we're replacing that with being with Christ. Whether it be: in the word, prayer, both of them together, meditating on the word, memorizing scripture. Just developing and deepening that devotional life that you have with Him. So, if we look at the law, God would require people to fast annually on the day of atonement, when offerings were made by the high priests for the sins that he and the people had committed in arrogance. And we see this Leviticus, and this was the only time that God kind of expected that fasting process, or that to happen. Now we're no longer bound by the law, because Christ fulfilled it. But we do see that, though it may not be a requirement so to say, like we'd seen in the law, we still see it happening throughout the New Testament. So like in the Old Testament, we see it happen in grief, right? When King Saul was killed and buried, his men fasted for seven days. We see this for Samuel. We see that when Bathsheba's first son was dying, David fasted and pleaded with God for his life. We see this in 2 Samuel. We see people fasting as a place of repentance, as a repenting for whatever's going on. We see this in the book of Jonah. We see that they're fasting. We see these take place even today. You see people fasting as a place of repentance. We see it happen to seek favor, blessing, or the will of God. Moses fasted for 40 days in preparation for receiving the 10 Commandments; we see this in Exodus 34:28. Daniel fasted before God and God gave him a vision; Daniel 10:2-6. We see Elijah fasted before he spoke with God; 1 Kings 19:8. Jesus fasted for 40 days before his public ministry began as Matthew 4:1-11 says. You also see it in Luke 4:1-13. We see that the apostles fasted and prayed; that we see in Acts 13:2. And so the question would come down to, how do we see it happening today? How do we fast today? What's the purpose of us fasting today? Should we be fasting today? That's where the questions, I think, would go. From, once we see that scripturally, they fasted in The Old Testament, and we see that they fasted in the New Testament. We see that the disciples, we see that the followers of Christ fasted, they prayed. So we see that it's a practice that was put into place. So how do we see it today? Should you fast? Right? And I would say the answer to that is, yes. Fasting may not be the easiest discipline of Christ to do. A lot of people love their food, right? It's hard to give up our food. But also, there's great benefits in us spending more time with God. Abstaining from something and saying, "you know what? We're going to dedicate this time to Christ." I've had friends that fasted every Tuesday morning, they'd fast their breakfast and they wouldn't eat until, 'whenever,' and they'd spend that whole time in prayer.

Jonathan Hernandez
I know a lot of pastors fast Sunday mornings until after the sermon or after their service. They just want to make sure that they're in the right place. Making sure that it's God's word that's coming out and not their words. It's what God's wanting to say within that moment, and what He's saying in that time. So as we fast, we can see a few things happen. And so, we see fastening prayer can help us hear from God. So when we're fasting and we're praying, we're giving up something and we're spending more time with God. We're trying to connect to Him and we're going to hear from God. As we're spending that time in prayer, we're spending that time in our word. Fasting and prayer can reveal hidden sins; sometimes, those things that we're hiding and we're continuing to hide that we want to overlook. But then God reveals those times, those things to us when we're fasting and He's saying, "Hey, look John. There's this part in your life that I've been calling you and telling you, and trying to show you that it's not pleasing to me. And that you need to get rid of it." But for whatever reason, we're pushing Him to the side. But here in this time of, in a sense of isolation, we're removing something from us and spending more time with Him. He's going to reveal those things to us and say, "Hey look, here it is. This is what you're doing. Let's get rid of it. Let's repent of it. Let's move forward." Fasting and prayer can strengthen intimacy with God. If you feel like, "you know what? Maybe I haven't really been hearing from God lately. I feel like I'm far away from God right now." Spend a day of fasting and just spend that time with Him and reconnect. He's always been there. He's there already, right? It's us who has drawn away. And so draw back, draw closer to Him and spend that time with Him through prayer, through this time of fasting. Get rid of those distractions and just make sure that you're spending time with Him. Fasting prayer can teach us to pray with the right motives. A lot of times we have have wishlists, and we just rattle off these things instead of just saying, "okay God, what is it that you're wanting? Let me just hear from you. I want to come at you in prayer with the right motives." Not, "I want a million bucks," but "hey, what does it look like for me to be praying for the lost ones in my community? How can I pray for my lost loved ones with these motives?" Fast and prayer can help build our faith. So as we're spending more time with Him, we're seeing things happen. We're seeing how the scriptures just really fulfill those areas. So we just need to make sure that when we're fasting, we're doing it for the right reason. We're not doing it because our pastor said, "Hey, go ahead, you need to be fasting this week." And that's great, and that's motivation to help us, hey, let's step into this. But why are you fasting, right? Not just to lose weight. It's not a diet, but it's a place for us to step into what God has for us. It's an opportunity for us to connect with Him on a higher level. It's an opportunity for us to deepen that relationship, to strengthen our faith, to strengthen that intimacy---like I said---with Him, to hear from Him, to reveal things in us that need to be removed. That chiseling season. So we need to make sure that when we go into this, a season of fasting that, "hey, we've already prayed for it. We feel like this is what God's showing us as we step into this." And then make sure that you're doing the things that you need to do to keep yourself healthy through that too. So would I say that fasting is only food? I know a lot of times we could definitely stay in that route. And I mean, really when we look at scripture, we see that it says, "abstain from food." But also, I think there's an amazing thing that happens when we abstain from social media and all of that distraction. If we can just separate ourselves from all of that extra knowledge and things that we really don't need; separate ourselves from having that phone in our hand twenty four seven. And instead of having that phone in our hand, let's have our Bibles in our hands. Let's have our prayer journals. Let's have those things in our hands, our devotionals, and spending more time with God, and just really see what this season would look like if we would just put down social media for even a couple hours a day. Instead of being on it the whole time that we get home from school, or get home from work, however that looks. But we just make sure that we're spending that time with Him and say, "you know what? I want to separate from social media. I want to separate from whatever it is, electronics. Maybe it's video games. I'm going to separate myself from video games and spend more time with God. And so some of you guys are like, "well, I don't do social media. I don't do video games." What is it? Maybe it's the television, maybe it's whatever it is. Separate yourself from that and spend more time with God, and I think we're going to see some amazing things happening. We're going to see some more spiritual growth happening, and that's really it. We want to grow spiritually and we can't stay infants for all of our whole Christian lives. We need to be able to mature. I think, if we could get into this practice of fasting, I think we'll start seeing ourselves mature on a better level and being able to grow closer to God. And for me, a lot of times, if I feel, like I had just said earlier, but there's times when I feel like I'm not hearing from God. Or I'm not feeling like I've kind of maybe been separating from Him a lot of times, then I'll fast for that day or whatever it may be and say, "okay, I need to make sure that I'm in the right place. I need to make sure that I am hearing from God and I am following Him and all of these things." As a pastor, I've got to make sure that spiritually, I'm healthy, because I want to help other people become spiritually healthy. And so, if I'm not spiritually healthy, then what am I reproducing? And so fasting is a place for me to be able to say, "okay, where am I? Okay God, is there areas in my life that I need to look at? Is there a hidden sin that I'm overlooking? I want to be close to you. So I've got to make sure that if that's my goal, to be close to you, I've got to do the things that we've got to do, right?" If I want to be close to my wife, I've got to spend more time with my wife. We've got to do those type of things. So if I want to be closer to God, I've got to make sure that I'm putting in that effort to say, "Hey, I'm going to get closer to you. I'm going to spend time with you." And that's, a lot of times through fasting. Fasting's an amazing thing for us to practice and to do.

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How Should Christian's View Our Cultures Obsession With Justice?

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This edition of Ask the Pastor features Pastors Johnathan Hernandez and Gary Schick.

Gary Schick
Well, today's question could be what you might call, kind of a hot topic. But I know it's a question that people are asking. So here it is, "We hear a lot about justice these days. Environmental justice, social justice, et cetera. We know God is a just God.' But how should Christians view our culture's obsession with justice?"

Jonathan Hernandez
Yeah, I guess this is a pretty important question within our society today. And I would say that I guess even in Jesus's time, I guess it would be an important question on this. So we look at this, how there's this focus on this social justice platform, I guess that's been really going on for a while. But really started really sparking a lot for us in what, 2020? Around that time we started seeing a lot of more things, I guess, popping off in that sense, moving forward in that social justice form. And so, if we look at this, if we take the Bible seriously, then justice should be a big deal for us. We see it scripturally, he commands in Jeremiah 22:3, "do justice and righteousness and deliver from the hand the oppressor; him who has been robbed." And so we see these scriptures that God is showing, you know, there is justice and He is a just God. We see in Luke 4:18, and this is quoting Isaiah 61, it says, "Jesus declared his mission proclaimed. The good news to the poor, liberty to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind to set at liberty those who are being oppressed." Isaiah 1:17 says to seek justice. So this is a strong call. I guess in that sense, in scripture we have to look at those and take them and say, "okay, if we are seeing this call in scripture, how do we see it lived out in that?" If God's calling us to live this justice out, how do we see this happen? And I think if we can look even in the book of Acts, you know, if we look in the church history in that form, we see this happen in the early church as they proclaim the gospel. We see that there was a racial divide happening back in that time with the Jews, the Gentiles, and the Samaritans. We see this racial divide happening and we see that as the early church was proclaiming the gospel, there was a real sense of community starting to be built. And I think if we can look at that for our time now, there is a racial divide that unfortunately does happen within our society. And if we could just get back and say, "you know what? We're going to start proclaiming the gospel. We're going to start walking it out." Not just saying that we proclaim the gospel, actually walking out the gospel. And doing the things that we see in scripture, and start seeing this real community start happening like we've seen in the early church and start seeing people come to Christ. I think this is how we'll see this social justice, that platform, really say, "you know what? Let's just bring this back to scripture." I think for me, some of the problem with the social justice that we see today is, it really starts pitting people against other people. And this is not the justice that we're wanting to see. We're not wanting to see it divide people more. We're wanting to see it bring people together in unity. And I think we're starting to see, at least this is what I'm seeing, is some of these social justice warriors of our day are really pitting our people groups against people groups. And we're seeing more oppression happening than, you know, we should be seeing people that are oppressed, released and freed from these things. And I think unfortunately, we're seeing it where it's really pushing people more into oppression, not uplifting people like it should be. And so I think that's where I'm seeing it from my side. Gosh, if we're wanting to go after social justice, we should be seeing unity not pitting people against people. And so, yeah.

Gary Schick
I think that's an interesting and a good take on it. This world's attempts to achieve justice don't always achieve it. And I think it's in part because it's us working out of our sinful nature trying to move towards something better. Which the goal is good, but if you use sinful means to get there, you're going to continue tofall short of your objective. And I think also, a part of it is some blind spots, which we are reluctant, all of us, to let go of. Each of us have what we might call our hot topics, things that we want to see, areas of justice achieved. But if we're completely honest with ourselves, there are others that others may be fighting for out there we could care less about. And that doesn't mean that those things aren't important to God's heart. Just that maybe, in fact, even the way this question is worded kind of made me think about that. It says, "we know God is a just God, but how should Christians view our culture's obsession with justice?" As if almost to say, "well obviously culture's in the wrong here by being obsessed with it." You know, throughout the Bible, God is just, "period." And He is obsessed with justice in a way that we could only wish we were. One of the great verses, we used to sing it when I was in youth group many, many years ago, from the book of Micah says, "he has shown me, oh man, what is good and what the Lord requires of thee. But to do justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." And I think part of the human problem is, we don't know how to balance justice and mercy. Justice by itself is very important, but very harsh. Mercy by itself can come across as just sort of sweeping things under the rug. You know, kind of like Jesus. Jesus came filled with grace and truth. Truth and justice go hand in hand. Grace and mercy go hand in hand---and love. In our way of approaching life, sometimes we've got justice on one side, mercy on the other. In Christ they don't fight, they kiss. Justice and mercy come together in Him. But exactly what you were saying, in terms of the way, in our sinful selves, we go at this, these things actually tend to conflict. In Christ they come together and even when we pray the Lord's prayer, what are those three words? "Thy kingdom come." Now in part, we're praying for the return of Christ, but we're praying for the King of Kings to come to reign over His kingdom when the kingdoms of this world give way to His ultimate justice and rule. So we are actually to be ambassadors and signposts of that. I just, oh man, I've got several just little quick thoughts that I just want to kind of pop out to the listeners here. One, bear in mind, God's view of justice is at times very different from what the culture promotes as just. But at other times, if we take the Bible seriously, even what the culture is asking for doesn't go far enough. Really, the question is not whether there should be justice in this area, but what is a biblical view of it? What's God's view of it? And biblically, I think three things need to be said. 1. part of our sinfulness, both in the culture and the churches, I've already mentioned, is blind spots. We need God's word to wake us up to areas of injustice that we have grown complacent about. If we ever recognized them to begin with. And one example would be, a hundred years ago this country was divided Christians on both sides over, in part, I know there were other factors, but a big part of it was the issue of slavery. Today it's very hard for a Christian to look back and say, "how could Christians have ever been on the side of that?" But they were complacent in their culture. They found verses to back up what they wanted to say and just close their eyes hard to others. You've got to take the whole council of God in a sense that civil war should never have happened. Christians should have been able to come together and say, "you know what? This is hard, but God's word says, "and therefore we must," as opposed to going the direction we did. Another thing is to acknowledge, you know, we hear a lot today, a lot of it came, you're right, a lot of it got going in the 2020. It wasn't just covid that hit that year. We hear a lot about culture wars. I heard an interesting take on that recently. Culture wars, the person defined as this, a culture war is a theological war where one side identifies it as theological about what God says, and the other side doesn't see that. But it's still about that. You know, it's very interesting. In the culture wars, the secular liberal left, they are using, I guess I want to say Christian values without calling them Christian. So often in calling us our attention to this and this and this. Whereas Christians are saying, "and God's word says." And so it is. It's a cultural, it's actually somewhat of a theological war, in which one side doesn't acknowledge that God is part of the equation. And so that is part of what creates the conflict there. And then third, while we are not called to fix the culture, we are called as Christians to be a prophetic voice within the culture. And even to live out higher values than the culture, and in all areas, not just one or two. For example, it seems like over the course of my life, there were a time when Christians kind of stood up for many things, and more and more we have, maybe it's kind of a stereotype, but Christians have been sort of stereotyped as one issue. People, it's all about abortion. That's all or nothing, and nothing else matters. Well, obviously abortion does matter. And I'll be honest, that has cast my vote more than once. That issue, right there. But it doesn't mean that other issues don't matter. For example, I think the question brought up the question of the environment. Whether you believe in global warming or not, I mean, the world is kind of hot this summer for whatever reason. Doesn't really change what our answers should be to the question, "did God make this world?" And we do our best to take care of it, whether that scientific theory is true or complete hogwash.

Gary Schick
Should Christians be not only leading the way to say all life is valuable, which we should, but should we also be leading the way to a cleaner, safer, healthier environment in our planet? I mean, do Christians want the oceans filled with plastic? I don't think so. And yet, I have heard Christians say, "well, it's all going to burn up. Who cares?" I mean, that is not a Christian perspective. God said, "here's this world, you take care of it until, basically, until I come back," it is what we're going to pass on to our kids and grandkids. It shouldn't be either or, it should all matter to us. But from a Christian perspective, fourth---actually my three turned into six---fourth, I think it's important that Christians stand for the right things in the right way. Sometimes we become so passionate about our causes that we forget that human souls are often at stake, the people we are arguing with. And that's where there is, I think, what's the most important thing here? The issues are always important. Of course they are, they affect people. But it's the people that matter the most. Jesus died for souls. And sometimes when I get pretty wound up about an issue, whatever it is, I tend to demonize the people on the other side. I think we all do. And no, those are souls that we need to reach for Christ. And so yes, we need to, I think, draw the line and make clear our stand and make clear why we stand there. But I think it's also a good idea for Christians too, and this is my next point, and to look for some common ground. Not every issue does have to be us versus them. Christians can stand the ground and be sowers of peace, not division. The Bible calls us to that. That's part of, "thy kingdom come." It's a kingdom of peace. And then sixth and last, I think we need to bathe everything in prayer. Even as Christians, we've read our Bibles, we know what the Bible says about this, so here we are ready to go to---no. We need to ask God to show us His solution. How do we bridge this gap? Is there some place that we can build together? Is there a way through this that we haven't thought of yet? Even if we agree with the scientists, here's an issue in our world, there's still one thing that we can bring to the table that they can't. "God, give them insight," whether we're talking about cancer or whatever it is, we should be bathing everything in prayer and every conversation in prayer and every relationship in prayer. And then God's picture of justice, I think really will be done. He looks, I believe, for a world where people are in harmony, first with Himself, then one another, and then the environment they live in, until He comes for us. So Jonathan, anything more you want to add?

Jonathan Hernandez
No, I think you had some great points there. Definitely, things for us to really think about in those areas. And so I think the last thing is, for me, a lot of times when we are raising our kids, let's make sure that we're raising them with that biblical view of things. I think that's where we're seeing a lot of things going astray. Are we going to be committed to God or are we going to just show up to church, but we want to live a worldly worldview instead of what God has shown us scripturally.

Gary Schick
And I think news broadcasts or a topic that comes up at school, those can be great conversations at home. Say, "oh, that's interesting. What does the Bible say about this?" And so, sometimes we will get on board with what the secular culture is saying and say, "you know what? They've actually gotten ahold of something that's right here in the Bible," because all truth is God's truth. Other times we're going to say, "You know, isn't it interesting how the world is looking for a just outcome, but how that's contrary to God's word?" And look at where that will, if they got their way, where that would actually take us. And what that would actually result in. And for example, well the two we've brought up, we could say, "oh, there's a person who doesn't know the Lord and yet they're caring an awful lot about the world God created." What are some responses, as Christians, we could add to that? Or take the issue of abortion, say, "well, it's really interesting. They're talking about a woman's rights, which obviously there's some truth there, but aren't they forgetting about the person that woman is carrying in her body and that that child has rights to?" And so if the world gets their way there, what does that lead to? The loss of that child's life. So we just need to keep going back to the Bible and affirm what's there to be affirmed. Call it when it's going too far, and absolutely draw the line when it's going totally counter to God. It may use all the right words, but if it's going in the wrong direction, how do we know? What's our compass? "Thy word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." Not what I want, not what sounds good to me or feels good to me or is most comfortable to me. But what does God's word say?

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