What's in the Cross Reference Library? The Journey Away From Insecurity

Well, Girl - If you're skinny, fat, short, tall, or somewhere in between . . . If you've ever thought that losing weight would lead to happiness . . . If you've ever avoided a mirror because you didn't want to see your reflection . . . If you've found Jesus or you're still searching . . . Well, Girl, You've Come to the Right Place. You'll find a sassy, funny, authentic, and encouraging friend in master word weaver Jami Amerine, as she comes alongside you to share God's overwhelming grace and patience in an inside-out journey to wellness. She'll introduce you to a heavenly Father who adores you, right where you are. And she'll let you have a peek into the insane ride of her life that led her to complete freedom after years of hating herself--while she was completely and utterly adored by Jesus. This transformational listen will set you free. Hilarious, raw, and somehow poetic, Well, Girl offers scriptural truths, honest and thought-provoking ideas about wellness, and an in-depth look at a life free from culture's lies--with increased self-worth, better overall health, and more confidence in your physical appearance.

So Long, Insecurity - Perhaps one of the biggest issues all women face is their own insecurity. Beth Moore, one of today's most admired and trusted Christian writers, wants women to be free from the insecurity trap. So Long, Insecurity will strike a chord with women everywhere, as Beth speaks truth into the lives of readers, showing them how to deal with their innermost fears, rediscover their God-given dignity, and develop a whole new perspective--a stronger sense of self. Women of all ages and backgrounds will resonate with this message of security and discover truths that will free them emotionally and spiritually and lead them to a better life as they walk with God.

What Is The Meaning Of Speaking In Tongues? - Ask the Pastor

You can listen to Ask The Pastor every weekday at 9:00am MST on 97.1FM Hope Radio KCMI! You can also listen and subscribe to Ask The Pastor in your favorite podcast feed. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Amazon Music and most other podcast services.

This edition of Ask the Pastor features Pastors Gary Hashley, Tim Hebbert and Brad Kilthau.

Brad Kilthau
The question that we're going to try to address today came in from one of our listeners. And the question goes this way, she said, "I have always wanted to know about speaking in tongues and the meaning of it. I've never really understood it and the meaning of it." She said, "my mother had a friend years ago that spoke in tongues, and is this practice still used?" So Gary, I'll let you have some thoughts on that if you'll start us out.

Gary Hashley
Well, I guess I'd like to begin by saying, it's good to be back. This question about speaking in tongues, I will have to admit that this is one of the subjects, that in my 40 years as a pastor, it's a subject that has caused great confusion. It has caused great consternation with people when someone sees it in a different light than they do. We acknowledge, Brad and I both, that there are churches that really focus on this spiritual gift of speaking in tongues. And there are churches that don't see it as something necessarily that God is using today. So we're just gonna try and explain it biblically, and share a little bit from our hearts. We're not here to pick on anybody, and we are for sure not here to put anybody down. We're just here to try and answer the question. And I guess the beginning of the answer needs to be in scripture, where this all comes from. To start with, Acts 2 says, "when the day of Pentecost arrived, they were all together in one place. And suddenly there came from heaven, a sound like a mighty rushing wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. And divided tongues as a fire appeared to them and rested on each one of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit gave them utterance. Now, there were dwelling in Jerusalem, Jews, developed men from every nation under heaven. And at this sound, the multitude came together and they were bewildered because each one was hearing them speak in his own language. And they were amazed and astonished saying, 'Are not all these who are speaking, Galilean? And how is it that we hear, each of us, in his own native language?" And then the author of Acts goes on, "Parthians and Medes and Elamites and residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya belonging to Cyrene, and visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, Cretans and Arabians---we hear them telling in our own tongues, the mighty works of God.' And all we're amazed and perplexed, saying to one another, 'what does this mean?' But others, mocking said, 'they're filled with new wine." One thing we see here when, 'tongues,' pops in on the scene, Brad, is that it was a known language. It was a language that people understood. It was their native language. They may have understood Greek, the trade language, but when they were hearing it, it was in their own native, or heart language we would call it today. And it was something God did so that all those people there could hear about Jesus. I mean, by the time Peter's done, 3,000 people excepted Jesus as savior. And they were from a variety of places, because it was Pentecost they were coming from all over for the feast for the festival. And so it was languages. I mean, the Greek word has to do with dialects. And when we think of a dialect, we think of a language that a people group speak. So, is this practice still used? Evidently, not in the line in which it was used here. Because in fact, let me just share: I had a dear friend who was from a charismatic church. He was a pastor, and he was a very good friend of mine. We knew we didn't agree on this subject of spiritual gifts. And they were visiting one day, and I wasn't being unkind, I was really curious. I asked him, I said, "so you guys send missionaries around the world?" He says, "oh, yes we do." And I asked him, "well, do your missionaries go to language school?" And he says, "oh, of course," and I asked him why. He said, "what you mean 'why?" I said, "well, if you have the gift of tongues in Acts 2, God used that gift of tongues and wouldn't it be great if missionaries could parachute out of an airplane in the midst of people group they've never met? And the spirit let them immediately communicate with those people and share the good news of Jesus with them?" He said, "but Gary, that's just not how it works. So to answer that part of the question, "is this practice still being used?" Not in this way, it's not being used. Brad?

Brad Kilthau
Yeah, you know, it amazes me too. And it shouldn't, because we find a lot of these things in the church today. But there are two basic descriptions of what speaking in tongues is identified as that you were getting to, Gary, as I guess at least the definition of it. And there's the two groups, is of course, first of all, there's a group in the church that believe that the gift enables them to express one's inner feelings or praises to God by a unique, sometimes non-rational utterance. And they say that the gift is not speaking in a foreign language, as we often claim. They say, "yes, it may be unknown to the speaker, but it also could be, as they say, 'known to God' and it's the Holy Spirit sometimes giving up praise back to himself by using us as a vessel to do that." Another thing that's part of that camp is, sometimes it's shared that speaking in tongues is proof of salvation for that person. And they use examples out of the book of Acts and also in 1 Corinthians. And then of course there's the other camp, as we believe, and as you were just reading about Gary in Acts 2. That the gift was used in the early church, and even somewhat after that, as being able to speak in a foreign language that the person had never learned, had never had any ability to do. And all of a sudden, they can speak the wonderful things of God to people in that foreign language as we know it today of Pentecost. And of course this group, and I would have to say I'm part of that group, we say it's no evidence that a person is in a sense filled by the Holy Spirit by being able to speak in a foreign language like that. The sealing of the Holy Spirit comes at the moment when we immediately put our faith and trust in the Lord. I had a dear friend too, some years ago, and we got into the conversation about speaking in tongues. And it troubled me, because the young man told me, "I put my faith and trust in the Lord Jesus, I'm going to heaven." But he said, "I'm still waiting to be filled by the Holy Spirit." And I said, "really?" He said, "yeah." And he looked at me puzzled, cause I was puzzled with that statement. And basically what he was waiting for was the gift of speaking in tongues to prove that he is filled with the Holy Spirit. And of course, I went on to share with him, I believe that a person at the moment they put their faith in the Lord, they're filled with the Spirit. They're sealed by the Holy Spirit and they're on their way to heaven. And so we ran into some roadblocks there. And of course we had to agree to disagree, and walk away from each other. But speaking in tongues, I don't think was ever meant to be an exclusive determination that somebody is a believer and in dwelt by the Holy Spirit. In my studies, as I look at the Bible, there's only about three occasions in the book of Acts where speaking in tongues is actually accompanied by the salvation of the people; Acts 2:10, 19, but only those three occasions. When you get into all the rest of the accounts, you find that thousands of people were putting their faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. And there was no mention at all of speaking in tongues. There was no confirmation that they were believers because they were speaking in tongues and so forth. And so I don't think the New Testament teaches at all that speaking in tongues is the evidence, and the only evidence that a person has received the Holy Spirit; speaking in tongues. It's a gift that obviously God used, again as we look at the Bible, it's to get the message out to the ends of the earth. Recently I've been doing a study through the book of Daniel, and we've come into the part of where we're talking about the Greek empire and Alexander the Great, and how he was able to hellanize the entire civilized world and make the common language, the Greek language and so forth. And of course he even built roads between all the cities and whatnot. Which when the first century Christians came along, missionaries, they had roads, they had one common language, they had the septuagint to use and all of that. But yet as the Lord used, as you were saying, Gary, they could have used the Greek language, but they used the native language of the people to basically show that something miraculous has happened in the lives of these people. It was a signed gift to show that something miraculous had happened in their lives. And it was to wake up and to get the movement that Jesus promised would happen, of getting the gospel out to the ends of the world. And then another thought I have, when it comes to speaking in tongues is, sometimes it can be the thing that is dwelled upon; it can actually become the center part of someone's, "Faith" or "Christianity," of when it shouldn't be. I mean, we should never base our walk with the Lord upon spiritual ecstasy or excitement or things of that sort. Our walk should always be based upon the truth of the scriptures. And there is some times, when I'll be studying a passage of scripture and God reveals a new truth to me, and I gotta admit, there's an exciting, enthusiastic feeling that just kinda runs through me and I can't wait to tell somebody else about it or whatnot. But I think that's the excitement that we get. We don't get fired up and excited about doing things because we have this spiritual signed gift. We get excited because we learn a new truth. When we learn a new truth from the word of God, that's what gives us our excitement. The excitement doesn't come from the ability to have a spiritual signed gift.

Gary Hashley
I remember years and years ago when I was listening to Chuck Swindoll on the radio in the car, and he was in 1 Corinthians, and he's teaching about tongues. And he explained that, you know, he doesn't see tongues as, you know, as big a thing today as maybe other groups do. But he did make an interesting statement. He said, "if you're going to practice speaking in tongues," he said, "I would just ask that you look at scripture and make sure you do it biblically." Because Paul said in 1 Corinthians 14, he says, "if any speak in a tongue, let there be only two or at most three at each turn and let someone interpret. But if there's no one to interpret, let each of them keep silent in the church and speak to himself and to God." So he basically said, "okay, if you believe this is really for today, then you should also believe that the instructions Paul gave and that this isn't a free for all, two at the most." Three, there must be an interpreter, and if there's not an interpreter, then you shouldn't be in a church service speaking in tongues. But it's interesting, because in that same section, he talks about that as directions for speaking in tongues. Then he talks about prophesying or preaching the word, sharing the truth of the word of God. So he talks about speaking tongues, speaking prophetically, but then he says the women should keep silent. So it's like, "okay, in the church, as Paul was instructing them, never more than two or three speaking tongues in a service ever. If there's not an interpreter, prophecy is even better. But the women aren't to be the ones speaking." So you would have to ask yourself, how is it going in our church? Are we following those instructions? In fact, Paul himself said, "I'd rather speak a handful of words that people can understand than thousands of words people can't."

What's New in the Cross Reference Library?

Unbroken - In boyhood, Louis Zamperini was an incorrigible delinquent. As a teenager, he channeled his defiance into running, discovering a prodigious talent that carried him to the Berlin Olympics. But when World War II began, the athlete became an airman, embarking on a journey that led to a doomed flight on a May afternoon in 1943. When his Army Air Forces bomber crashed into the Pacific Ocean, against all odds, Zamperini survived, adrift on a foundering life raft. Ahead of Zamperini lay thousands of miles of open ocean, leaping sharks, thirst, and starvation, enemy aircraft, and, beyond, a trial even greater. Driven to the limits of endurance, Zamperini would answer desperation with ingenuity; suffering with hope, resolve, and humor; brutality with rebellion. His fate, whether triumph or tragedy, would be suspended on the fraying wire of his will. Unbroken is an unforgettable testament to the resilience of the human mind, body, and spirit, brought vividly to life by Seabiscuit author Laura Hillenbrand. 


The Heart of the Artist - God is interested in your art and your heart. The Heart of the Artist, now in an updated second edition, deals head-on with issues every person in an arts ministry faces, including: 

  • Servanthood versus stardom

  • Excellence versus perfectionism

  • Handling criticism

  • Jealousy and envy

  • Managing your emotions

  • The spiritual disciplines of the artist

  • And much more

Each chapter includes provocative questions for group discussion and personal action steps for individual application. Somewhere between pride and self-abasement lies true humility—just one aspect of the balanced character God wants to instill in you as a musician, a technical media artist, or another creative person involved in ministry. The Heart of the Artist will give you a better understanding of yourself and your unique place in the body of Christ. You’ll find wisdom and encouragement that can help you survive the challenges and reap the rich joys of a ministry in the creative arts.  

Keeping Our Focus During The Holidays - Ask the Pastor

You can listen to Ask The Pastor every weekday at 9:00am MST on 97.1FM Hope Radio KCMI! You can also listen and subscribe to Ask The Pastor in your favorite podcast feed. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Amazon Music and most other podcast services.

This edition of Ask the Pastor features Pastor Gary Schick.

Gary Schick
Hey, listeners, as I kind of prayed, this is what I wanted to address just briefly with you this morning as you're about your day, something to help keep our focus for the holidays. It is a mad dash till Christmas starting today, Black Friday, and it is so easy to forget the pause that we just took yesterday to give thanks. And to lose sight of what we are about to celebrate, Jesus, whose birth Christmas is at least supposed to be about it. Sometimes we kind of hear the not so funny joke about that the Christ child kinda lost in the wrapping paper of the day. And I know some of you are just starting your Christmas shopping. Some may already be done before Black Friday even arrived, others probably are gonna be making a mad dash on Christmas Eve. But whatever your Christmas season looks like, I hope that you can just pause and keep in touch with the highlights of what the season is about. You know, Thanksgiving was yesterday, and in a way, even talking about it is like eating turkey for the next couple of days. Not quite the same, is it? But yet giving thanks. What a beautiful way to enter the Christmas season. In fact, what a beautiful attitude to carry with us all through the year. And as we enter into the season of love and joy and peace and hope, let's maintain that attitude of gratitude that I hope was a part of your Thanksgiving celebration yesterday. Today, I just want to read to you one of the great Thanksgiving psalms, and then just think about it for a moment or two. Psalm 136, and you can even join me. There's a refrain that's repeated every verse or two, and I invite you to, as I'm kind of reading it, and you're going to learn what the key word is. I'll just give you a hint, "His love endures forever." And I want to invite you listening, friends, as I'm reading that to join me. And in saying it, I think there is something powerful about hearing the word of God, which is one of the wonderful things about being able to send it forth over the airways. But there's also something powerful about speaking the word and speaking it together. So join me on the refrain as I go through this powerful Psalm, Psalm 136. "Give thanks to the Lord for he is good." And here's that refrain, "His love endures forever to him who alone does great wonders. His love endures forever, who by his understanding made the heavens. His love endures forever, who spread out the earth upon the waters." Join me now, "His love endures forever. He who made the great lights; His love endures forever. The son to govern the day; His love endures forever. The moon and stars to govern the night; His love endures forever. To Him who struck down the firstborn of Egypt; His love endures forever, and brought Israel out from among them; His love endures forever. With a mighty hand and an outstretched arm; His love endures forever. To Him who divided the Red Sea as thunder; His love endures forever. And brought Israel through the midst of it; His love endures forever. But swept Pharaoh and his army into the Red Sea; His love endures forever. To Him who led His people through the desert; His love endures forever. Who struck down great kings; His love endures forever. And killed mighty kings; His love endures forever. Sihon, king of the Amorites; His love endures forever. And Og, king of Bashan, His love endures forever. Engrave their land as an inheritance; His love endures forever. And inheritance to His servant Israel; His love endures forever. To the one who remembered us in our low estate; His love endures forever. And freed us from our enemies; His love endures forever. And who gives food to every creature; His love endures forever. Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever."

Over and over, this beautiful psalm tells us something about God and then repeats. And I hope you were repeating it with me, that refrain, "His love endures forever." You know, whatever's going on, here are four words for you to just repeat today. "His love endures forever." It's a powerful psalm. The psalmist looks back, first at the creation, and as he considers different aspects of God's creating, he's just reminding those who are joining with him in song and praise that this God who created, His love endures. And then he zeroed in on what was the keynote of blessing for Israel. That powerful moment when they really birthed His nation, when God led them out of Egypt. Triumph over peril, brought them through the Red Sea and into the Promised Land. Granting them the land where kings had once ruled, and now giving them, who were a slave people, and nothing and no one in the world, a place in this world. Friends, that was what Israel looked back to. What is it we're looking back to today? In this country, we're looking back yesterday to the pilgrims and how You brought them through the sea and how You brought them through a difficult winter. Allowed them to be befriended by the natives and taught to hunt and fish and plant corn and to celebrate God's faithfulness. And now, as we are just on the pivot point of entering into the Christmas season, we remember when Jesus came, walked among us, prepared the way for the Lord. Isaiah wrote, "prepare the way for the Lord. Make straight the path for Him, a highway for our God." And Jesus came and he dwelled among us, and he gave his life at the cross. And he rose again and he opened paradise. And he is Mighty God, King of King's, Everlasting Father, Counselor, Prince of Peace. All of this and more, we have so much to be thankful for. The God who Israel knew as the God whose love endures forever. The God who our pilgrim's fathers, followed to this great land of plenty and discovered His love endures forever. The love in whom Christ has come and dwelt among us; His love endures forever. He is coming again. Friends, why not take, just even each verse of this psalm as you enter into the King. Into the season before us, is a starting point for your prayer and your praise and entering His presence with thanksgiving in your heart, developing an attitude of and for your mind and a joyfulness in your spirit. If you do, I believe you're going to answer further into the joy of this season. Then perhaps ever this season that is just beginning. I'm wishing you thanksgiving. I'm wishing you joy. I'm wishing you peace. I'm wishing you the fullness of the hope that is ours in Christ, and the steadfastness of His love in your hearts. Now get out there and enjoy the gift of this day and remember his love endures forever.

What's in the Cross Reference Library? All I want for Christmas is...

The Christmas Sweater - When Eddie was twelve years old, all he wanted for Christmas was a bike. Although his life had gotten harder—and money tighter—since his father died and the family bakery closed…Eddie dreamed that somehow his mother would find a way to have his dream bike gleaming beside their modest Christmas tree that magical morning. What he got from her instead was a sweater. “A stupid, handmade, ugly sweater” that young Eddie left in a crumbled ball in the corner of his room. Scarred deeply by the realization that kids don’t always get what they want, and too young to understand that he already owned life’s most valuable treasures, that Christmas morning was the beginning of Eddie’s dark and painful journey on the road  to manhood. It will take wrestling with himself, his faith, and his family—and the guidance of a mysterious neighbor named Russell—to help Eddie find his path through the storm clouds of life and finally see the real significance of that simple gift his mother had crafted by hand with love in her heart. 

Christmas at Carnton - Recently widowed, Aletta Prescott struggles to hold life together for herself and her six-year-old son. With the bank threatening to evict, she discovers an advertisement for the Women's Relief Society auction and applies for a position—only to discover it's been filled. Then a chance meeting with a wounded soldier offers another opportunity—and friendship. But can Aletta trust this man? Captain Jake Winston, a revered Confederate sharpshooter, suffered a head wound at the Battle of Chickamauga. When doctors deliver their diagnosis, Jake fears losing not only his greatest skill but his very identity. As he heals, Jake is ordered to assist with a local Women's Relief Society auction. He respectfully objects. Kowtowing to a bunch of "crinolines" isn't his idea of soldiering. But orders are orders, and he soon discovers this group of ladies—one, in particular—is far more than he bargained for. Set against the backdrop and history of the Carnton Plantation in Franklin, Tennessee, Christmas at Carnton is a story of hope renewed and faith restored at Christmas.

A Functional Faith: The Unclean Woman

Three of the four Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) include the story of the “Unclean Woman of Faith”.

  • And behold, a woman who had suffered from a discharge of blood for twelve years came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, for she said to herself, “If I only touch his garment, I will be made well.” Jesus turned, and seeing her he said, “Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.” And instantly the woman was made well.

  • And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and who had suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was no better but rather grew worse. She had heard the reports about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his garment. For she said, “If I touch even his garments, I will be made well.” And immediately the flow of blood dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease. And Jesus, perceiving in himself that power had gone out from him, immediately turned about in the crowd and said, “Who touched my garments?” And his disciples said to him, “You see the crowd pressing around you, and yet you say, ‘Who touched me?’” And he looked around to see who had done it. But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling and fell down before him and told him the whole truth. And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.”

  • And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and though she had spent all her living on physicians, she could not be healed by anyone. She came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, and immediately her discharge of blood ceased. And Jesus said, “Who was it that touched me?” When all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the crowds surround you and are pressing in on you!”  But Jesus said, “Someone touched me, for I perceive that power has gone out from me.” And when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling, and falling down before him declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him, and how she had been immediately healed. And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”

When read on its own, this story doesn’t seem like much more than a quick little example of a miracle. But when the Bible is read in context, we learn there is more to it.

The first thing we must understand about this story is that this woman is suffering through much more than just a health issue. According to the Jewish law, this specific health issue also makes her unclean. And when someone, or something, is unclean and it comes in contact with someone or something else, it makes that thing unclean too.

Leviticus 15:19-33 (NLT) “Whenever a woman has her menstrual period, she will be ceremonially unclean for seven days. Anyone who touches her during that time will be unclean until evening…If a woman has a flow of blood for many days that is unrelated to her menstrual period, or if the blood continues beyond the normal period, she is ceremonially unclean. As during her menstrual period, the woman will be unclean as long as the discharge continues…”

So for twelve years this woman has been considered unclean within the Jewish community, which means she has been ostracized from her friends and family, expected to permanently separate herself from their society until the bleeding stops and she can be made ceremonially clean again.

Since, their medicinal options obviously hadn’t helped her in twelve years, she had most likely given up hope of ever having a normal life. As Mark 5:26 says, “...and who had suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was no better but rather grew worse.” (ESV).

Then Jesus came on the scene.

Lost Renaissance Masterpiece Found Hanging Above Woman’s Hot Plate

As Mark 5:27 says, this woman heard of the things Jesus had been doing. Not only was He performing healing miracles--which probably would have been enough for her to ask Him to heal her--but He was also specifically fulfilling Messianic prophecies. And we can know she recognized this and believed He was the promised Messiah because of how she goes about trying to get healed.

Mathew 9:21 informs us that she believed the only thing she needed to do was touch his garment. “...she said to herself, “If I only touch his garment, I will be made well.” (ESV).

Why would she think that specifically? Why wouldn’t she think she needed to ask Jesus to heal her? It seems a bit strange to assume that his garments would have the power to heal her.

Well, she obviously had a pretty decent knowledge of the Scriptures, because she is putting her faith in one of the Messianic prophecies in Malachi:

Malachi 4:2 (ESV) But for you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness shall rise with healing in its wings. You shall go out leaping like calves from the stall.

The Hebrew word for “wings” in this verse is "kanaph". Strong's Concordance, defines it as follows:

 Kanaph (kaw-nawf); Noun Feminine, Strong #: 3671

Wing, extremity, edge, winged, border, corner, shirt

- Wing

- Extremity skirt, corner (of garment)

In other words, this verse is saying:

 Malachi 4:2 (ESV) But for you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness shall rise with healing in the fringes of its robe. You shall go out leaping like calves from the stall.

This woman knew Jesus was the solution to all of her problems. With one little touch, she could return to her life with her family and friends. The problem was, He was going to be surrounded by a crowd of people which she wasn’t supposed to get close to because everyone she would come in contact with would become unclean.

It was a huge risk for her to venture into the crowd to touch Jesus’ cloak. If she had been wrong and hadn’t been healed, a lot of people would have been furious with her for being so reckless and making them all unclean. They may have even gotten angry enough to execute her for it. But her knowledge of the Scriptures and of the fact that God’s prophecies always come true, led her to have such a strong faith that she took the risk, pushed her way through the crowd, and reached out to touch the edges of Jesus’ cloak.

And, the result? 

Luke 8:44, 46-48 (ESV) She came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, and immediately her discharge of blood ceased…Jesus said, “Someone touched me, for I perceive that power has gone out from me.” And when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling, and falling down before him declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him, and how she had been immediately healed. And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”

Her faith wasn’t just a random whim or feeling. She knew the Biblical prophecies about the coming Messiah and knew that Jesus had been fulfilling them.

Walking into a crowd in her state was too dangerous to risk without being certain of who Jesus was. If she had been wrong, she could have even made Jesus, Himself, unclean by touching Him. But she wasn’t wrong. Jesus was the promised Messiah. So, instead of her making Jesus unclean, Jesus made her clean; just as He does for everyone who puts their faith in Him. 

This series of blog posts titled, “Holding on to Reason”, is named after Amanda’s favorite C.S. Lewis quote: “Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods.”

Click here for more stuff written my Amanda Hovseth.

Is Worshiping God As important as Some Make It? - Ask the Pastor

You can listen to Ask The Pastor every weekday at 9:00am MST on 97.1FM Hope Radio KCMI! You can also listen and subscribe to Ask The Pastor in your favorite podcast feed. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Amazon Music and most other podcast services.

This edition of Ask the Pastor features Pastors Gary Hashley and Brad Kilthau.

Brad Kilthau (00:31):

The question that we wanted to address today, is a question that goes this way about worship. It says, "is worship of God as big a deal as some Christians seek to make it? Is it that important to God, or are there other things that He is much more concerned about?" Well, it's a good question, but when we think about God and the need for worship, I think you gotta look at what Jesus said in Matthew 22:37. Basically, a man walked up to Him one day and said, "what's the most important thing in the Bible?" What's the most important thing? And remember what Jesus said, He said to the man, "you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. And this is the greatest and the first commandment." I think, obviously when we look at that, we find what Jesus was saying. Is that the worship of God is the absolute purpose of our life, is that we are to worship God. That's our purpose for being here. Now, when it comes to worship and the way it's expressed in different ways, through different believers, different churches throughout the valley, how do we have a God-honoring worship? And maybe this is maybe what the listener was thinking about with the question. But I think, when I was looking at this question a little bit, I thought, "well, there has to be a passion." There has to be a passion for the Lord. I know, when we love our jobs, we get up in the morning. If you really love your job, you can't wait to get up and go to work, and have something, you know, happen with the your hands or whatever God's given you, giftedness, to do. You just, it drives you. It drives you to do the best that you can. A lot of people have a passion for sports, and you look at the crazy things that they'll do for that. But when it comes to worship, we've gotta have the same thing. We have to have a passion for the Lord before worship will ever be heartfelt. Before it'll ever be, I believe, God honoring. And so a question that we have to, I think, ask ourselves when it comes to worship is, "do I really have a deep burning passion for God Himself?" And if that passion is there, you're gonna see that the worship is there. If the passion isn't there, you're probably gonna see a bunch of actions, routines, ritualistic type things, worship that's not really honoring to the Lord. And one of the passages of scripture, Gary, that I was thinking about when we look at this question, is found back in Malachi 2, especially in verses one through nine. And it talks about the corrupt priests of Israel, and how these priests were, as they should be, called to lead the people to worship God. But they weren't doing a very good job of that. What was happening was, when people were bringing in sacrifices to be offered up on the altar, they'd bring their old sick cow. They'd bring their old animal that had a lame leg or something like that, and they would bring it in and the priest would just go, "okay." And they'd offer up that sacrifice before God like it was nothing. And so they were letting the people get away with not worshiping the Lord properly. And then God comes down on the priests, as He should, and God gets after these priests because they're the ones who are to lead worship. And one of the unpopular parts of that passage of scripture is, the Lord said, "I will spread refuse on your face and on your feasts." And you think about that, it says dung. That's animal dung is what He's talking about there. And so, what was God saying? That He's gonna smear that across their faces and on their feasts? Well, what God is really saying to them is, "because of your lack of leading the people in worship, I'm taking you outta your position. You're gonna be like filthy refuse that's gonna be taken outside of the city and burned and done away with because you are of no value to me." And I always gotta wonder, what happened with those priests, you know? And how that all went down. But obviously, you can see that the priests had lost their passion to worship God. They had lost their love for God, which led to a lack of worship. And it's just going through the routine, you know, and I guess, what I'm saying is we can do that today as Christians too in the church. We can lose our passion for God. We can just go through the routine pretty soon, and it's like a regular routine of going to church on Sunday and whatnot. And we think that we're worshiping God by sitting there singing some songs and, you know, clapping hands and participating with other believers. But it's not from our heart, it's just another routine. And before God, you gotta wonder if that isn't sickening to Him as He looks at that, because He's looking at the heart. He's looking for people who really wanna worship Him because they're in love with Him. And you know, so you think about, how can we change that? How can we get that back, that fire that we need to worship the Lord? Well, I think one of the things, as we learn here in Malachi, is we need to get ourselves in a place of where we're under the teaching of the word of God that will bring about a love for the Lord. If you're not under the teaching, you're not in love with the Lord, because you're getting disconnected, you're not reading this love letter. I think about Mary and Martha when Jesus walked into the village, and of course, Martha invites Jesus over and she's getting all the house ready, maybe a big meal ready, all of those things. And she's getting frustrated cause she looks over and Mary just continually sits at the feet of Jesus and doesn't move. And so finally she comes over and she's very frustrated. Jesus can read her heart. He can probably read her face. And I love what the Lord Jesus says to her. He says, "Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things, but the one thing that's needed. Mary has chosen that good part." And that really speaks to my heart, because what the Lord is saying is, until you place yourself under me, under my teaching, you're not gonna see true love and true worship." You're gonna be running around being busy, trying to get the right things to look good for Jesus. But he's looking at us to get ourselves into place of where we'll really see who He is and the greatness of Him so that we can worship Him properly. And so, as I was thinking through that, also, I have to bring this up, Gary, before I turn it over to you. As I think about worship in the church, we have to understand the importance of our peers when it comes to worship. Because again, when you come back here to Malachi, because the priests didn't have a passion and weren't doing their job correctly, the people were walking away from their worship of the Lord at the same way. And, you know, as men especially, I wanted to say this, as men we're called to be the spiritual leaders of our home. Spiritual leaders, even for our wife, and we're to be the spiritual leaders in the church, and we should be the ones leading worship. We've got that same calling as that spiritual headship, that spiritual leadership that God has put us into. And I just wonder sometimes that, you know, if you walk through the church, how many men are really singing from their heart in worship? Most of the time it's usually, I don't know, the women when it should be the men. But men for some odd reason, they think that they can stand there like, you know, Mr. Macho, and "I'm not gonna sing this. I'm just gonna stand here and mumble the words or not even open my mouth at all. And it makes me look tough and it makes me look manly." But I got to think that's not manly before God. God's looking for a man that'll lead his family, lead his wife, and lead the church in worships. Let's always keep in mind our peers when it comes to worship also.

Gary Hashley (08:03):

I've been asked over the years, "well, what does it mean to worship?" Our English word, worship, comes from an old English word, worth-ship. It's expressing to God the worth that He has to us, the worth He deserves to have in our minds and in our hearts. I've described it this way: worship is letting God know that I know who He is and what He's like. How amazing He is, how much I love Him, how much I rely upon Him, how much I adore Him. It is an expression. We do find in scripture that God wants exclusive worship. And why would I say that? We find one spot in the Old Testament in particular that says, "the people would go before Sabbath during the week, and they would worship on the high places. They would worship the idols and the gods of the peoples around them. And then they'd show up on the Sabbath to worship God." And God was not happy with that. It wasn't, you know, "I'm glad you've come worship me today. The rest of the week is yours." It was, you know, "I want to be exclusively worshiped by you." So, one of the questions we have to ask is, you know, "is God the one that is the most important in our lives? And are we expressing that to Him now?" We express it in a variety of ways. We can express it in song and some today, you know, anytime we're singing in church, they call it worship. Sometimes it's just simply singing because we aren't really expressing from our heart to God, our love and our adoration and our wonder and our awe. We can worship in song, but every time we sing doesn't mean we're worshiping. We can worship in prayer. As we come to Him in prayer, we're letting Him know we're relying upon Him. He's of utmost important in our lives. It's worship to study the word. We kind of differentiate, you know, worship time from sermon time. But actually coming before God during the sermon time and really, truly, all of us focusing on the scriptures and letting God know that we know how important He is and how much He is the most important in our lives. But we can also do it through serving Him and through evangelism. I mean, Brad talked about the great commandment, "love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength." But he said the second is like it, and that is "love your neighbor as yourself. And I guess the thought that comes to my mind, Brad, is there are things we can do to worship, but simply doing those things doesn't mean we're worshiping. For instance, back in Isaiah 58, the Israelites were, you know, wondering, "how come we fast?" We go without food for a period of time, and it was designed to be a time of worship, but they were doing it and they'd lost the sense of it. In fact, God says, "is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh? Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and you're healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. Then you shall call on the Lord and the Lord will answer; and the Lord will say, 'Here I am." He was saying, you know, "You can go without food, but that doesn't mean you're worshiping in a time of fasting." In fact, He said, "I'd rather have you love your neighbor as yourself. I'd rather have you, you know, try and loose the bonds of wickedness in people's lives and help people find freedom in Christ to help break the yolks that bind people and to share your bread with the hungry and help the homeless poor and help the naked poor have something to wear." He's basically saying, you know, "I want you to worship me, but it's not just singing, it's not just praying, it's not just fasting. You can do those things and not worship, but you can serve me in those things. And I will see that as worship." I had a gentleman come to me years ago and he said, "You know pastor, I know I'm not here a lot in church." He said, "but you know, I like to hunt and I like to fish." He says, "I can worship in the woods." And I smiled and said, "do you?" He said, "do I what?" I said, "do you worship in the woods?" You know, we can, that doesn't mean we do. And we can make excuses for it, but what God wants is our hearts to come before Him in wonder, in awe, in adoration. That can be through singing an old hymn, that can be singing a Sunday School chorus, that can be singing a brand new song we call worship songs. And I know we've had worship wars in America, in our churches. What is the right approach to a church service that we could rightly call worship? And I'm not sure God is as worried about the form, or the melody, or the rhythms or the harmonies, or just even the activity. He's more worried about our hearts expressing to Him that He is God, that we love Him, that we adore Him, that we submit to Him. That we take His word seriously and want to know it, because as we know His word we'll know Him better. So yeah, worship is very, very important. It's important to God or we wouldn't be told so much about it in the scriptures. But just remember, it's not just what we do or what we say. It's the thought and the attitude and the heart behind it, because God does want us to worship. Jesus said, "we should worship Him in spirit and in truth." I hope that helps!

What's in the Cross Reference Library? Donna VanLiere Christmas Books!

The Christmas Hope - Patricia and Mark Addison have long given up the hope of having a meaningful Christmas. But this year, Patricia’s job as a social worker will lead her to a very special five-year-old: Emily. Against her better judgment, Patricia bends the rules and takes the little girl into her own home. Through the presence of Emily in their house, and her penetrating questions about heaven, the Addisons will learn that there is no sorrow so great that faith cannot help you find your way through. And Christmas will once more be a time of warmth in their home. The Christmas Hope is a story of love in the face of loss, joy when all seems hopeless, and how light can shine into the darkest places. 

The Christmas Shoes - Robert is a successful attorney who has everything in life—and nothing at all. Focused on professional achievement and material rewards, Robert is on the brink of losing his marriage. He has lost sight of his wife, Kate, their two daughters, and ultimately, himself. Eight-year-old Nathan has a beloved mother, Maggie, whom he is losing to cancer. But Nathan and his family are building a simple yet full life and struggling to hold onto every moment they have together. A chance meeting on Christmas Eve brings Robert and Nathan together—he is shopping for a family he hardly knows, and Nathan is shopping for a mother he is soon to lose. In this one encounter, their lives are forever altered as Robert learns an important lesson: Sometimes the smallest things can make all the difference. The Christmas Shoes, a tale of our shared humanity, is a universal story of the deeper meaning of serendipity and of how a power greater than ourselves can shape, and even save, our lives. 

The Themes of Advent - Ask the Pastor

You can listen to Ask The Pastor every weekday at 9:00am MST on 97.1FM Hope Radio KCMI! You can also listen and subscribe to Ask The Pastor in your favorite podcast feed. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Amazon Music and most other podcast services.

This edition of Ask the Pastor features Pastors Ben Cline, Johnathan Hernandez, and Gary Schick.

Gary Schick
Good to be back with you listeners, and perhaps some of you are doing a little traveling over the last week, and I hope that you made it safely home as we are recording this morning. It is a cold one out there, and maybe it will be on Friday when this airs. But anyway, we kind of have something that we're gonna, I think, hold until January. We're just, really getting in the Christmas Spirit and thought we would take a turn onto some of the, from a Christian perspective, the themes of the season. And take a little bit of a look at, what are called the themes of advent, I guess you might say. So, we come from three different backgrounds, and I know our listeners come from a lot of Christian backgrounds and some of you out there have grown up with something called Advent. And I would guess, just by our conversation right beforehand that all three of us, none of us actually probably grew up with it. I did not....we did not grow up with it. I have served in churches that didn't know what Advent was. I have served in churches where this is a big part of what we do---and I have found---and currently I'm serving in a church where it's not a big part of what we do, but it is something we kind of follow through the month of December. "Bring the kids up for a few minutes as we light some candles and talk about their significance." Of course, this is not found anywhere in scripture, but the themes that we talk about are found in scripture. And so, the very first one, and I guess there's different ways to approach Advent too, but the first one, I think universally, is the prophecy candle that talks about our hope as Christians. And Jonathan, could you get us rolling on it?

Jonathan Hernandez
Yeah, definitely. So, like Pastor Gary was saying, I didn't grow up with, you know, going through the Advent season. And I serve in a church that we don't really have it. I've never had it, I've never done it, I guess, since I've served there. And even as going to the church there, we didn't serve, or we didn't go through this process. But it's exciting to dive in and kind of learn and see what this looks like. And so the first candle is a prophecy candle of hope. And so in ancient times God gave His people, Israel, hope by speaking to them through the prophets. And, you know, we see this all throughout the Old Testament, and how the prophets spoke and gave the word to look at for forward. He revealed what was to come and told of the great blessings that they would receive when Jesus, the Messiah, would dwell amongst them. And the people look forward to the coming of their Messiah, and the hope that was spoken into this. We find that same hope when we read through the words of the prophet. And hopefully as you guys read through those, you can feel that hope building up within you. We find that, like I said, we find that same hope, Christ has come and our hope is in Him. "We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul," this is Hebrews 6:19, "a hope that is eternal." And so during this week, we get that opportunity to reflect on the hope of Christ. We see what the Old Testament had spoken of the coming Messiah, and then we get to see the actual coming of the Messiah. You know, as we celebrate Christmas here, you could look at the prophecy of Isaiah 7:14. "Therefore, the Lord Himself shall give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son and shall call his name Emmanuel." And then we see the fulfillment of that in Matthew 1:23, "Behold, a virgin shall be with child and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel," which being translated is, "God with us." And so that's kind of, you know, like I said, I have to really dig in to see what the Advent season is. And so that's kind of where my study is, I guess, so far has gotten me.

Ben Cline
Yeah, I also grew up in a church that didn't really, we didn't really know what Advent was. I think I'm sure that my pastor probably knew what it was, but we never really celebrated it, you know, in any way, shape or form. And so we weren't taught about it. But, you know, in recent years, the church that I serve at currently, we have some years, gone through the Advent season. Some years, not gone through it. But I wanted to kind of, like you were saying Jonathan, kind of dig into that this year and, you know, take some time to think about what it symbolizes and what it reminds us of. And, you know, thinking of the topic of hope, if you do a word study for hope in scripture, oh wow, it's gonna be a long word study, right? And it's a very large topic in the scriptures, and so it's an exciting thing for us to remember. And I guess the question that I always start off with when I'm talking to somebody about hope is, you know, there's a different understanding, I think, of that word hope in the world versus, you know, from what the Bible teaches about it. And so, you know what I guess the question is: what is biblical hope? You know, it is not the same kind of thing that we talk about when we say, "I hope that something happens," or "I hope that I get this thing," or whatever. And even going into the Christmas season, that's maybe something that we hear a lot as well. What do you hope that you get for Christmas? It's a wish, right? Yeah, it's something that, you know, we really just wish for. And it's not based on anything that we know for certain. And I guess that's the difference between worldly hope and biblical hope, is that the hope that we have is based on things that are certain. And the hope that we have is because of what certainly happened. And it's interesting, you were talking about Hebrews 11 as we were kind of talking before we started recording this morning. And the first verse in that says, "Now, faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see." You know, and so you can go through and you can do a, a study of that word, hope, and find all sorts of things in scripture about what biblical hope actually is. And the first thing that I would say, is that biblical hope is deeply tied to faith. You know, our hope in being certain of what we do not see is deeply tied to the faith that we have in God, and deeply tied to the faith that we have in the promises that He's made to us in scripture. And so, you know, if you look at the Greek, if you look at those, the definition of the word, hope, it has behind it this idea of certain expectation. Which, you know, if you're hoping for a pony for Christmas, it's not the same kind of certain expectation. But if you have placed your faith in Jesus Christ as your savior, you have that certain expectation that you will spend eternity with Him forever. And that you are now adopted as one of His children, that you are a co-heir, you know, of the Father with Jesus Christ. And so, you know, there's all these things that we can place that certain expectation into, and that's just the word that we call, hope. So those are some of the things that I was thinking about. Just getting started off with that theme of hope for Advent.

Gary Schick
Yup, and good things to think about. You know, as I think about these things, these are Christmas traditions. And I don't know about your families, I grew up in a family where it was pretty bare bones. Christmas morning, opening gifts...most of the time. I think, yeah, most years we would read the Christmas story together. Now, my current family, it seems like every year we're adding on some new Christmas tradition, you know? It's starting off with Christmas Eve: we all open one present, and it's a big surprise! It's always Christmas pajamas and a big surprise, we put them on and there'll be a game. And we go around in our Christmas pajamas, driving around looking at Christmas lights. So, if you see some people in pajamas on Christmas Eve, it's probably the Schick family and their dogs are with them in the vehicle. And that is just one of what has become many. But, you can kind of understand when the date of Christmas was somewhat set. And of course, there is a little difference. Most of the western Church, essentially, celebrates Christmas, December 25th. The Orthodox East celebrates, I think a little bit later. We'll probably hit that in January. What's the difference there? But in any case, think about the time of year we're heading into. Think about what this time of year would be without Christmas. The days are dark, long, cold. And so what do people start to do? They start to light fire to keep them warm. And so here is a time in the church when things are gloomy, dark and cold, where people would light a candle and begin to think about the biblical expectation that we have in Christ. And as we approach the day that we celebrate His birth, we don't know exactly. I think there's some ideas when He may have been born, but the 25th is just kind of what we've settled on. It's a great way, I think, to kind of get our minds a little bit back in what it might have been like for the people of the Old Testament past. You know, Peter talks about the prophets of old, longed to look into the things that we now celebrate, you know, who Christ is. So, I'll get up on Sunday and read for example, "for as we light this candle about hope and prophecy," to read just a few verses like you did. About, you know, from Isaiah 7, "the Virgin will be with child," or this Sunday, it wasn't actually part of that, but just part of my message, cause I actually am going through Hebrews 11. Where in Isaiah 9, it talks about, "For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders and he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." What must it have been like for Isaiah to write that and then to just wonder, "who is this? Who is this gonna be?" You know? And of course, we know it's Jesus, but to just be looking for, and you know what? In a sense, we are with those saints, those Old Testament people in the sense that they were looking forward to Christ. We're looking back on his first coming, but we are also waiting with eager expectation and confident hope. I love the way you talked about that Ben, looking forward to His return. You know, the world is still a dark place, and yet we have this light burning within us: Jesus! This hope, and we have this assurance that He is coming again. He is going to set the world right. And for those who put their hope in Him, there is all of the eternal joy to come. What a great thing to focus our minds on in the hurry and the busyness. In the dark and the cold and the slippery and the wet! But yet, as Christians, let's be out there with hope, and we're gonna talk about some other great things: peace and joy and all the things that we associate with Jesus and His coming. But today, it's on hope. Hey, thanks listeners for being part of this with us. And again, where where are you at today? Maybe you're not feeling hopeful. Maybe there's some pretty heavy burdens on your shoulders. Maybe there's some recent grief in your life, or even past grief that's still pretty heavy in your heart. I just encourage you to open up the word go back to the promises that look forward to Jesus and just be reminded of all that is ours in Him. What a great hope wishing you that today.

The Christmas Tornado

Here I am with my first company issued semi-truck.

A few years ago, I was working for Werner as an over-the-road truck driver. This meant I could be sent to deliver items with my truck anywhere across the United States, and I lived in said truck for months at a time.

The truck driving field is a tricky one, because while it tends to pay well, there are a lot of companies which treat their employees like they are just tools to be used and not like human beings. 

When I first accepted the job, I had been told that I would have a route which would allow me to be home with my family every weekend. My dad had recently passed away, so the ability to be home often with my mom during that time was imperative in my decision to take the job. They had, as it turns out, lied to me, and I ended up being away from home for around three months at a time. 

Here I am learning to drive manual in a semi-truck in Millington, Tennessee.

Unfortunately, by the time I realized they had lied to me about my route, they already had me trapped financially. In order to get a Commercial Driver’s License I had had to attend a trucking school in Millington, Tennessee. They lured me down there by saying that the trucking school would be completely paid for by Werner, but once I was there, they revealed that I would have to take out a loan for $7,000 in order to pay for the three week school. Then if Werner decided to actually hire me, they would make my loan payments every month for as long as I worked for them. Honestly, that’s an okay deal, if they had been upfront about it. But they hadn’t.

Long story short, I ended up trapped working for them by a $7,000 loan. I tried to make the best of it. I had met another girl, Laura Powers, during training in Los Angeles, California who had asked me if I’d be willing to team drive with her. So, I called her up and we started out our venture as close-quarters roommates and co-workers.

Laura was great, we got along really well and had a lot of fun times together. The only problem was, no matter how hard I tried, I could not handle the stress of the job and of feeling like I was abandoning my family. Things got so bad for me emotionally that I could no longer eat anything without instantly having to rush to the bathroom, which is the last thing anyone wants to happen while driving a 16-wheeler down a five-lane interstate.

I vividly remember one specific moment when I was at my wit’s end. I was driving south in Florida, towards Orlando. I wanted to quit my job right then and there, but I had no idea how I would get home or pay off my loans if I did. So, I did what I should've done sooner, I turned to God for help. 

“Desperate Prayer” by livin_4_jesus

I prayed, “Daddy God, I’ve gotten myself into a major bind here. I do not think I can physically continue with this job. But I don’t want to be financially irresponsible and end up with a mountain of debt I can’t pay off. My emotions tell me I should quit and go home. My logic tells me I need to stick it out at least until my debt is paid off. I need you to decide for me. If you want me to quit then find a way to get me home to do so; if you don’t want me to quit then please heal my mind and body so I can physically continue this job. In Jesus name, Amen.”

A photo I took when I realized I was going to work over Christmas.

A few weeks later, Christmas was right around the corner and Laura and I knew neither of us were going to be able to be home for Christmas. There was no way our dispatchers would allow it to happen. We had learned pretty quickly that the dispatchers liked to promise they would get us to certain places to keep us compliant, but then yank it away from us at the last minute and send us to the other side of the country. 

Our route over Christmas was taking us from North Carolina to Salt Lake City, Utah. It just so happened that I was driving on Christmas day through Nebraska on I-80 heading west. It was a windy and stormy day so I had to take it slower than usual. Then the strange and abnormal (for winter in Nebraska) happened, I had just passed Grand Island when our cell phones blared out an Emergency Alert. A tornado had touched down a few miles away from us. 

Chevy- my co-driver’s dog

I woke Laura up and had her get her leash on Chevy--her husky dog who rode along with us--as I pulled over into the truck stop by Wood River. After I parked the truck, the three of us hurried into the truck stop to take shelter.

We had a blast that night, hanging out with the truck stop employees and the few other truck drivers who were stuck there waiting out the winds. The tornado didn’t end up coming our direction so the next day we started our trek west again. We were nearly to Ogallala before we were informed that I-80 in Wyoming was closed to all traffic due to high winds and they estimated the closure to last three days. 

Laura and I had a choice, we could wait the three days out, being buffeted around by the wind in our semi-cab, or we could head a little farther west and just a tad bit north, and wait out the weather with my family at my mom’s house. We chose the second option.

So, I wasn’t home for Christmas that year, but I was home for the day after Christmas. I was so thrilled to see my family, that I was feeling a lot better psychologically, at first, but then I was hit with an emotional bomb. I found out that the guy I was seeing was already married, had at least one other “official” girlfriend, and had a one-night-stand in Chicago, who was pregnant with his baby. (He was also an over-the-road truck driver so that’s how he pulled off this horrific trickery--just keeping us all in different locations.)

Everything he had ever said to me kept spinning around in my head, because none of it matched up with the reality I was now facing. I felt like a fool. I hated that he had turned me into the “other woman”. I was so angry and heartbroken I couldn’t stop crying. What was left of my fragmented psychological state shattered to pieces. 

In that moment, I knew without a doubt that there was no way I could continue putting up with dispatchers whose starting place of communication was yelling obscenities; or with feeling like my life was moving on without me while I was just rolling down interstate after interstate. I was lost and broken, both emotionally and physically.

That’s when it hit me--I was home. At the precise moment where I had absolutely nothing left to give to over-the-road trucking, God had gotten me home. I talked to Laura and she insisted that she and Chevy could manage on their own. So I unloaded my stuff from the truck and I quit my job.

Shortly after, I was hired to drive sugar-hauling trucks for a local company, which allowed me to be home every day. Then a few weeks later, I got a notice that Werner was being sued for their dishonest practices, and I was able to make a deal with the bank to pay them $1,900 instead of the full $7,000 and have my debt wiped clean.

That day in Florida when I had prayed for help, I hadn’t been able to see a clear path to regaining my financial freedom or to getting back home, but God had already laid the path out before me. I’ll definitely never forget the time that God answered my prayers with a Christmas tornado.  

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

- Romans 8:28 (NIV)

This series of blog posts titled, “Holding on to Reason”, is named after Amanda’s favorite C.S. Lewis quote: “Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods.”

Click here for more stuff written by Amanda Hovseth.